704

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Western Australia

Fern Pool.....   Karijini National Park

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In some parts of the world
 it's Fathers Day this weekend

PEOPLE ARE AWESOME 

 Awesome Dads & Kids Edition 

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Fascinating pictures

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Father's Day Fails 

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Miscellaneous cartoons

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Kids

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The Carbonaro Effect 
 Disposable Paper Phone

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Juggler Alexander Koblikov Performs

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Science Humour

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Emotional Pet Campaign 
30 Millions d’Amis Foundation

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Those Funny Animals

 baby moose

wombats

thanks toni

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Just For Laughs 

KGB Clowns.

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Blondes have special skills

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Buddy Fetches Without Human Help 

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If your visiting Australia
other places to see besides 
the great Barrier Reef and Ayers Rock  [ulrhu]

and see the quokka's

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In Australia we go to the polls in the Federal Elections on July 2
Both Major parties are more busy playing blame games
than anything else
And as usual are promising the world
Reminded me of this story

So a politician dies...

And ends up standing in front 

of the pearly gates.

Saint Peter looks at him for a second,

 flicks through his book,

 and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."

 "Well, yes, is that a problem?"

 "Oh no, no problem.

 But we've recently adopted a new system

 for people in your line of work,

 and unfortunately you will 

have to spend a day in Hell. 

After that however,

 you're free to choose where

 you want to spend eternity!"

"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??"

 says the politician.

 "Them's the rules"

 Says St Peter,

 clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH,

 the guy dissapears...

And he awakes,

 curled up with his hands over his eyes,

 knowing he's in Hell.

 Cautiously, he listens for the screams,

 sniffs the air for brimstone, 

and finds...

 Nothing.

Just the smell of, is that fabric softener?

 And cut grass, this can't be right?

"Open your eyes!" says a voice.

 "C'mon, wakey wakey,

 we've only got 24 hours!".

Nervously, the politician

 uncovers his eyes,

 looks around,

 and sees he's in a hotel room.

 A nice one too.

 Wait, this is a penthouse suite...

 And there's a smiling man in a suit,

 holding a martini.

 "Who are you??" The politician asks.

 "Well, I'm Satan!" says the man,

handing him the drink

and helping him to his feet.

 "Welcome to Hell!"

 "Wait, this is Hell?

 But... 

Where's all the pain and suffering?" 

he asks. Satan throws him a wink.

"Oh, we've been a bit mis-represented

over the years,

 it's a long story.

 Anyway, this is your room!

 The minibar is of course free,

as is the room service,

 there's extra towels next to the hot-tub,

 and if you need anything,

 just call reception.

 But enough of this!

 It's a beautiful day,

 and if you'd care to look outside..."

Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings,

the politician wanders over to the

 floor-to-ceiling windows

through which the sun is glowing,

 looks far down,

 and sees a group of people cheering

and waving at him from a golf course.

"It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site,

 and there's another 6

 just a few minutes drive out past

 the beach and harbor!" says Satan,

 answering his unasked question.

 So they head down in the lift,

 walk out through the glittering lobby

where everyone waves 

and welcomes the man,

 as Satan signs autographs

 and cheerily talks shop

 with the laughing staff.

 And as he walks out,

he sees the group on the golf course

 are made up of every one of his old friends,

people he's admired for years

 but never met or worked with,

 and people whose work he's admired

 but died long before his career started.

 And out of the middle of this group

 walks his wife,

 with a massive smile

and the body she had when she was 20,

 who throws her arms around him

 and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek.

 Everyone cheers and applauds,

 and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes,

 his worst enemy arrives,

 as a 2 foot tall goblin caddy.

 He spends the day in the bright sunshine

on the course,

 having the time of his life laughing at jokes

and carrying important discussions, 

putting the world to rights with his friends

while holding his delighted wife next to him

as she gazes lovingly at him.

 Later, they return to the hotel for dinner

 and have an enormous meal,

 perfectly cooked,

which descends into a food-fight 

when someone accidentally throws a bread roll 

at the next table

 As everyone is falling about laughing

and flinging breadsticks at each other,

his wife whispers in his ear...

 And they return to their penthouse suite,

 and spend the rest of the night

 like they did on their honeymoon.

After 6 hours of intense passion,

 the man falls deep into the

100% Egyptian cotton pillows,

 and falls into a deep and happy sleep...

And is woken up by St Peter.

"So, that was Hell.

Wasn't what you were expecting,

 I bet?"

 "No sir!" says the politician.

 "So then" says St Peter

"you can make your choice.

 It's Hell, which you saw,

 or Heaven,

 which has choral singing,

 talking to God,

 white robes, and so on".

"Well... I know this sounds strange,

 but on balance, 

I think I'd prefer Hell"

 says the politician.

 "Not a problem, we totally understand!

 Enjoy!" Says St Peter,

and clicks his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness,

 the stench of ammonia filling the air

and distant screams the only noise.

 As he adjusts,

 he can see the only light

is from belches of flame far away,

 illuminating the ragged remains

of people being tortured

or burning in a sulphorous ocean.

 A sudden bolt of lightning reveals

Satan next to him,

 wearing the same suit as before 

and grinning,

 holding a soldering iron in one hand

and a coil of razor-wire in the other.

 "What's this??"

 He cries.

 "Where's the hotel??

 Where's my wife???

 Where's the minibar, 

the golf-courses,

 the pool, the restaurant,

the free drinks 

and the sunshine???"

"Ah", says Satan.

 "You see, yesterday,

we were campaigning.

 But today, you voted..."

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I can fix that

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Around the World

Russia

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Iceland

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Japan

School Bus

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 Austria

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Norway

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Poland

near the tatra mountains






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Italy

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Slovakia

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Czech Republic

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Germany and Netherlands

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Africa

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USA

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Canada

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Australia

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Rampestreken view point in Åndalsnes,

 Norway.

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Safety First

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When did the word's music change 
from this

Neil Diamond & Barbara Streisand, 

You Don't Bring Me Flowers

and this

ABBA

 I have a dream 

to the gangster like..

 hip/ hop we have today

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Odds and Ends


Floating Island Boat

yes please!!

downtown

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A businessman in the first class cabin

 decided to chat up the drop dead,

 gorgeous flight attendant:

 “What is your name?”

Flight Attendant: “Angela Benz, sir.”

Businessman: “Lovely name ..

. any relation to Mercedes Benz?”

Flight Attendant: 

“Yes sir, very close.”

Businessman:

 “How close?”

Flight Attendant: 

“Same price.

stolen from My Comedy Plus

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--

Sal Valentinetti - My Way 

America's Got Talent 

 June 14, 2016

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This weeks signs

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Dog and Squirrel Play Chase Around a Tree

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there's work and there's fun

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"Word of the Week"

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Phil's Philosophy

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