Saturday, June 18, 2016



704


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Western Australia

Fern Pool.....   Karijini National Park





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In some parts of the world
 it's Fathers Day this weekend

PEOPLE ARE AWESOME 
 Awesome Dads & Kids Edition 




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Fascinating pictures



































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Father's Day Fails 




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Miscellaneous cartoons













































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Kids
















































































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The Carbonaro Effect 
 Disposable Paper Phone





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Juggler Alexander Koblikov Performs







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Science Humour


























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Emotional Pet Campaign 
30 Millions d’Amis Foundation




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Those Funny Animals






















 baby moose






































wombats













thanks toni































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Just For Laughs 
KGB Clowns.






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Blondes have special skills


















































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Buddy Fetches Without Human Help 






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If your visiting Australia
other places to see besides 
the great Barrier Reef and Ayers Rock  [ulrhu]























and see the quokka's





























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In Australia we go to the polls in the Federal Elections on July 2
Both Major parties are more busy playing blame games
than anything else
And as usual are promising the world
Reminded me of this story


So a politician dies...
And ends up standing in front 
of the pearly gates.
Saint Peter looks at him for a second,
 flicks through his book,
 and finds his name.
"So, you're a politician..."
 "Well, yes, is that a problem?"
 "Oh no, no problem.
 But we've recently adopted a new system
 for people in your line of work,
 and unfortunately you will 
have to spend a day in Hell. 
After that however,
 you're free to choose where
 you want to spend eternity!"
"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??"
 says the politician.
 "Them's the rules"
 Says St Peter,
 clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH,
 the guy dissapears...
And he awakes,
 curled up with his hands over his eyes,
 knowing he's in Hell.
 Cautiously, he listens for the screams,
 sniffs the air for brimstone, 
and finds...
 Nothing.
Just the smell of, is that fabric softener?
 And cut grass, this can't be right?
"Open your eyes!" says a voice.
 "C'mon, wakey wakey,
 we've only got 24 hours!".
Nervously, the politician
 uncovers his eyes,
 looks around,
 and sees he's in a hotel room.
 A nice one too.
 Wait, this is a penthouse suite...
 And there's a smiling man in a suit,
 holding a martini.
 "Who are you??" The politician asks.
 "Well, I'm Satan!" says the man,
handing him the drink
and helping him to his feet.
 "Welcome to Hell!"
 "Wait, this is Hell?
 But... 
Where's all the pain and suffering?" 
he asks. Satan throws him a wink.
"Oh, we've been a bit mis-represented
over the years,
 it's a long story.
 Anyway, this is your room!
 The minibar is of course free,
as is the room service,
 there's extra towels next to the hot-tub,
 and if you need anything,
 just call reception.
 But enough of this!
 It's a beautiful day,
 and if you'd care to look outside..."
Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings,
the politician wanders over to the
 floor-to-ceiling windows
through which the sun is glowing,
 looks far down,
 and sees a group of people cheering
and waving at him from a golf course.
"It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site,
 and there's another 6
 just a few minutes drive out past
 the beach and harbor!" says Satan,
 answering his unasked question.
 So they head down in the lift,
 walk out through the glittering lobby
where everyone waves 
and welcomes the man,
 as Satan signs autographs
 and cheerily talks shop
 with the laughing staff.
 And as he walks out,
he sees the group on the golf course
 are made up of every one of his old friends,
people he's admired for years
 but never met or worked with,
 and people whose work he's admired
 but died long before his career started.
 And out of the middle of this group
 walks his wife,
 with a massive smile
and the body she had when she was 20,
 who throws her arms around him
 and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek.
 Everyone cheers and applauds,
 and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes,
 his worst enemy arrives,
 as a 2 foot tall goblin caddy.
 He spends the day in the bright sunshine
on the course,
 having the time of his life laughing at jokes
and carrying important discussions, 
putting the world to rights with his friends
while holding his delighted wife next to him
as she gazes lovingly at him.
 Later, they return to the hotel for dinner
 and have an enormous meal,
 perfectly cooked,
which descends into a food-fight 
when someone accidentally throws a bread roll 
at the next table
 As everyone is falling about laughing
and flinging breadsticks at each other,
his wife whispers in his ear...
 And they return to their penthouse suite,
 and spend the rest of the night
 like they did on their honeymoon.
After 6 hours of intense passion,
 the man falls deep into the
100% Egyptian cotton pillows,
 and falls into a deep and happy sleep...

And is woken up by St Peter.
"So, that was Hell.
Wasn't what you were expecting,
 I bet?"
 "No sir!" says the politician.
 "So then" says St Peter
"you can make your choice.
 It's Hell, which you saw,
 or Heaven,
 which has choral singing,
 talking to God,
 white robes, and so on".
"Well... I know this sounds strange,
 but on balance, 
I think I'd prefer Hell"
 says the politician.
 "Not a problem, we totally understand!
 Enjoy!" Says St Peter,
and clicks his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness,
 the stench of ammonia filling the air
and distant screams the only noise.
 As he adjusts,
 he can see the only light
is from belches of flame far away,
 illuminating the ragged remains
of people being tortured
or burning in a sulphorous ocean.
 A sudden bolt of lightning reveals
Satan next to him,
 wearing the same suit as before 
and grinning,
 holding a soldering iron in one hand
and a coil of razor-wire in the other.

 "What's this??"
 He cries.
 "Where's the hotel??
 Where's my wife???
 Where's the minibar, 
the golf-courses,
 the pool, the restaurant,
the free drinks 
and the sunshine???"
"Ah", says Satan.
 "You see, yesterday,
we were campaigning.
 But today, you voted..."












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I can fix that









































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Around the World

Russia








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Iceland





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Japan


School Bus






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 Austria








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Norway





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Poland



near the tatra mountains






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Italy






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Slovakia









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Czech Republic




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Germany and Netherlands







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Africa






















































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USA
















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Canada






















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Australia
































































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Rampestreken view point in Åndalsnes,

 Norway.






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Safety First



























































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When did the word's music change 
from this

Neil Diamond & Barbara Streisand, 
You Don't Bring Me Flowers



and this

ABBA
 I have a dream 



to the gangster like..
 hip/ hop we have today



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Odds and Ends


Floating Island Boat

yes please!!






























































































































downtown



























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A businessman in the first class cabin
 decided to chat up the drop dead,
 gorgeous flight attendant:
 “What is your name?”

Flight Attendant: “Angela Benz, sir.”

Businessman: “Lovely name ..
. any relation to Mercedes Benz?”

Flight Attendant: 
“Yes sir, very close.”

Businessman:
 “How close?”

Flight Attendant: 
“Same price.




stolen from My Comedy Plus


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--




Sal Valentinetti - My Way 
America's Got Talent 
 June 14, 2016








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This weeks signs






























































































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Dog and Squirrel Play Chase Around a Tree



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there's work and there's fun






































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"Word of the Week"









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Phil's Philosophy







Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil in the comments section

1 comment:

Sandee said...

Dads and kids edition. You do have to believe you can do it. Hubby and I enjoyed this very much.

Wow on the fascinating pictures.

Father's Day Fails. Yikes and double yikes.

Always love the cartoons.

The kids are awesome. And some are just being kids.

The Carbonaro Effect always leaves me amazed.

Alexander Koblikov is very, very good.

Oh my on the emotional pet campaign. That was so very sad. I can't imagine doing that to a family member.

Those funny animals and they are too. Loved the wombat one.

Bwahahahahahahaha on the KBG Clowns.

Blondes have special skills. Of course they do. Bless their hearts.

Buddy fetches very well. Very well. Love that bouncing up and down he does waiting for the ball.

Lots of stuff to do down under.

Loved all the requests and really loved the snarky answers.

Loved all the politician stuff too. Spot on.

I can fix that. Some clever ways here.

Around the world. Always a history lesson.

What a view, but you'll never get me out on that walkway. Yikes.

Safety First...Yikes.

Odds and Ends. I want that floating island boat.

Sal did it his way and very nicely.

This weeks signs. Always a treat. I like that parking award. Need to try that.

Loved the dog and the squirrel. Lots of fun for both I'm guessing.

Loved the voice activated toaster. I would have loved seeing people try to get the toaster to work.

I know a few ignoranus's. Unfortunately.

We are slaves to time.

Another great week Phil.

Have a fabulous day and week ahead. ☺