G'day All April 26th[wifes birthday]
easy to remember as its the day after ANZAC Day
This is sure to make you smile
Cure for a cough
The owner of a chemist shop [drugstore] walks in
to find a bloke leaning heavily against a wall with
an odd look on his face.
The owner asks one of his assistants
"Whats with the bloke over by the wall?"
The assistant says
"Well, He came in here at 8.30am to get something
for his cough, I couldn't find the cough medicine,
so I gave him a bottle of laxatives"
The owner says
"You idiot, you can't treat a cough with laxatives"
The assistant says
'Oh yeah!.....look at him
He's afraid to cough"
Todays CUTE picture
Nebraskans finally became tired
of leaning into the wind,
having their topsoil blown away,
and chickens laying their eggs
two and three times.
Seems the wind continually
came down from Canada,
and there was nothing (worth mentioning)
between Canada and Nebraska to stop it.
So the Nebraska farmers all got together
and decided to build a fence across
the northern border of the state of Nebraska:
the idea being to stop that cold wind.
It might have worked, too.
The barbed wire they used was strong enough.
But the real problem was that a couple of owners
of farms on that upper border
kept leaving their gates open.
There was this haunted house on the outskirts
of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk
- the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all.
However, an enterprising journalist decided
to get the scoop of the day by photographing
the fearsome phantom.
When he entered the house, armed with only his camera,
the ghost descended upon him,
clanking chains et al.
He told the ghost "I mean no harm -
I just want your photograph".
The ghost was quite happy at this
chance to make the headlines -
he posed for a number of ghostly shots.
The happy journalist rushed
back to his dark room,
and began developing the photos.
they turned out to be black and underexposed.
So what's the moral of the story?
The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.
A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen
named Guido was relaxing at his
favorite bar in Rome when he managed
to attract a spectacular young blonde woman.
Things progressed to the point where
he led her back to his apartment and,
after some small talk,
they retired to his bedroom
where he rattled her senseless.
After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile,
"So, you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned,
and replied, "No."
Surprised, Guido reached for her
and the rattling resumed.
This time she thrashed about wildly
and there were screams of passion.
The sex finally ends and, again,
Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"
Again, after a short pause,
she returns his smile,
cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No."
Stunned, but damned if he was
going to leave this woman unsatisfied,
Guido reaches for the woman yet again.
Using the last of his strength,
he barely manages it,
but they end together screaming,
bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping.
Barely able to turn his head,
he looks into her eyes,
smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?"
Barely able to speak,
the beautiful blonde whispers in his ear,
"No, I Norwegian."
Perth at night viewed from Kings Park