3

Well, the Footy has started at long last

Two games into the season and the

are away to a good start

winning their first two games

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Bob Hawke, Paul Keating and John Howard died

and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River,

lookingacross at the promised land.

The Archangel Michael was standing on the opposite side and shouted

over to the three surprised Australians,

"Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade

across the Jordan River."

As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he reassured them by saying,

"Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally according to your sins on earth.

The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water."

The three Australian sages of political lore looked at one another,

trying to determine who should be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River.

After some contemplation, Bob Hawke volunteered to go first.

Slowly he began to wade out into the river,

and slowly the water began to rise higher and higher, reaching to his waist.

Bob began to sweat, thinking that all of his sins were coming back to haunt him.

He was beginning to wonder if he would ever see the other side. Finally, after what seemed liked an eternity, he began to emerge on the river's bank.

As he ascended to the other side, he looked behind him to see which of the

other brave souls was going next.

A shock of surprise registered on his face as he saw Paul Keating

almost in the middle of the river with his ankles barely touching the water.

He turned to Michael and exclaimed, "I know Paul Keating.

He is an acquaintance of mine, and he has sinned much, much more than that!"

Archangel Michael replied "He's standing on Howard's shoulders."

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A couple months back there was this trial in the Christchurch courts.

A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep,

since that's illegal after all.
Anyway, the key witness was an old fella who was walking along the highway

by the farm where the sheep was raised.

The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw:

'Well, I was walkin' along, and saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass.

And then this fella walks up from behind the sheep, real quiet-like.'
'And then what?' asked the prosecutor.
'Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close.'
'And what happened after that?'
'Well,' said the witness, 'they sorta shook for a couple of minutes.

THEN, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!'

Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jury member next to him and said, 'You know .. a good sheep'll do that.'

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