Thursday, May 3, 2007


G'day all

Welcome to post no 20

Sunshine here today, way out west down under

Karate Cow

An Arrest Made
The police recently busted a man selling ' secret
formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.
When going through their files they noticed it
was the fifth time he was caught for
committing this same criminal medical fraud.
He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983...........

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt,
a button fell off.
After that, I picked up my briefcase,
and the handle fell off.
Then I went to open the door,
and the doorknob fell off.
I went to get into my car,
and the door handle came off in my hand.
Now I'm afraid to pee.

Weather Forecast Showers

Doesn't anyone wear pants in this family

Tea Pot
Earl was fixing a door and he found
that he needed a new hinge,
so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.
At the hardware store,
Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf
while she was waiting for Carl, the manager,
to finish waiting on a customer.
When Carl was finished,
Mary asked "How much for the teapot?"
Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300."
"My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe
the hinge that Earl had sent her to buy,
and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled,
"Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store.

Our story begins at the Olympics,

specifically the wrestling event.

It is narrowed down to the Russian

or the American for the gold medal.

Before the final match,

the American wrestler's trainer

came to him and said,

"Now don't forget all the research

we've done on this Russian.

He's never lost a match because

of this "pretzel" hold he has.

Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold!

If he does, you're finished!"

The wrestler nodded in agreement.

Now, to the match:

The American and the Russian circled

each other several times looking for an opening.

All of a sudden the Russian lunged

forward, grabbing the American and

wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!

A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd,

and the trainer buried his face in

his hands for he knew all was lost.

He couldn't watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a horrible scream,

and a resounding cheer from the crowd.

The trainer raised his eye just in time

to see the Russian flying up in the air.

The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud,

and the American weakly collapsed on top of him,

getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded!

When he finally got the American wrestler alone,

he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold?

No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered,

"Well, I was ready to give up when

he got me in that hold,

but at the last moment,

I opened my eyes and saw this pair

of balls right in front of my face.

I thought I had nothing to lose,

so with my last ounce of strength

I stretched out my neck and bit

those babies just as hard as I could.

You'd be amazed how strong

you get when you bite your own balls!"

Esperance [courtesy Gday]

West of Esperance

No comments: