Welcome to post no 20
Sunshine here today, way out west down under
An Arrest Made
The police recently busted a man selling ' secret
formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.
When going through their files they noticed it
was the fifth time he was caught for
committing this same criminal medical fraud.
He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983...........
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt,
a button fell off.
After that, I picked up my briefcase,
and the handle fell off.
Then I went to open the door,
and the doorknob fell off.
I went to get into my car,
and the door handle came off in my hand.
Now I'm afraid to pee.
Weather Forecast Showers
Doesn't anyone wear pants in this family
Earl was fixing a door and he found
Our story begins at the Olympics,
specifically the wrestling event.
It is narrowed down to the Russian
or the American for the gold medal.
Before the final match,
the American wrestler's trainer
came to him and said,
"Now don't forget all the research
we've done on this Russian.
He's never lost a match because
of this "pretzel" hold he has.
Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold!
If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in agreement.
Now, to the match:
The American and the Russian circled
each other several times looking for an opening.
All of a sudden the Russian lunged
forward, grabbing the American and
wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!
A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd,
and the trainer buried his face in
his hands for he knew all was lost.
He couldn't watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a horrible scream,
and a resounding cheer from the crowd.
The trainer raised his eye just in time
to see the Russian flying up in the air.
The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud,
and the American weakly collapsed on top of him,
getting the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded!
When he finally got the American wrestler alone,
he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold?
No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered,
"Well, I was ready to give up when
he got me in that hold,
but at the last moment,
I opened my eyes and saw this pair
of balls right in front of my face.
I thought I had nothing to lose,
so with my last ounce of strength
I stretched out my neck and bit
those babies just as hard as I could.
You'd be amazed how strong
you get when you bite your own balls!"
West of Esperance