G'day All
Its Saturday evening here in the west
The West Coast Eagles played the Western Bulldogs
a Melborne based team and won by 15 points
The only undefeated team in the competition
Iwant one of these and have placed an order
Britney Spears Pussy
Two tourists were driving through Wales
and stopped for a bite to eatat Llanfairpwllgwyn.
As the waitress approached their table,
they asked her
"Before weorder, can you settle an argument
and pronounce where we are reallyslowly...?
"The blonde waitress leaned over and said
"burrrrr Gurrrrrr king".
A conversation
A stranger was seated next to a little
girl on the airplane when the stranger
turned to her and said, 'Let's talk..
I've heard that flights go quicker if
you strike up a conversation with
your fellow passenger.’
The little girl, who had just opened her book,
closed it slowly and said to the stranger,
'What would you like to talk about?
''Oh, I don't know', said the stranger.
'How about nuclear power?
''OK'. she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first.
A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff.
Yet a deer excretes little pellets,
while a cow turns out a flat patty,
and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?
'The stranger thinks about it and says,
'Hmmm, I have no idea.
'To which the little girl replies,
'Do you really feel qualified to discuss
nuclear power when you don't know shit?'
Todays cartoons
Our local minister had all of his remaining
teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago.
The first Sunday, his sermon lasted 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached for an hour and a half.
I asked him about this. He then told me
"Well, John, that firstSunday,
my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday,
my dentures were still hurting a lot.
Now the third Sunday,
Iaccidentally grabbed my wife's dentures
AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!"
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. -Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. -Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -Groucho Marx
I could dance with you until the cows come home.
On second thought I'd rather dance with the
cows until you come home. -Groucho Marx
I find television very educating.
Every time somebody turns on the set,
I go into the other room and read a book. -Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case
I'll be glad to make an exception. -Groucho Marx
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. -Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men,
the other 999 follow women. -Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject.
Anyone can get old.
All you have to do is live long enough. -Groucho Marx
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