23

G'day All

Spent a most relaxing day yesterday

Just hanging around the house being a couch potato

Funny Beer Commercial [Australian]

ONE-UPMANSHIP
Three young women are at a cocktail party.

The conversation turns to their position in life

and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.

The first one says,

"My husband is taking me to the French Riviera

for two weeks on vacation,"

and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second one says,

"Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,"

and looks about with considerable pride.
Number three says,

"Well, to be perfectly honest with you,

we don't have much money

and we don't have any material possessions.

However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is

that thirteen canaries can stand

shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."
After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says,

"Girls, I've got a confession to make.

I was just trying to impress you.

You know that vacation I was telling you about?

Well, it's not to the French Riviera,

it's to my parents house for two weeks."
The second one says,

"Your honesty has shamed me.

It's not a Mercedes, he bought me a Plymouth."
"Well," the third one says,

"I also have a confession to make,

canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"

In the prime of her career,

a world famous painter started to lose her eyesight.

Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter,

she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy,

her eyesight was restored.

The painter was so grateful that she decided

to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.

Part of her work included painting

a gigantic eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work,

she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art

-- the doctor's office.
During the press conference,

one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor,

"What was your first reaction upon seeing

your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?"
The eye doctor responded,

"I said to myself, 'Thank God I'm not a gynecologist.'

Todays Cartoons

Assaulted Peanut

Teacher: Johnny, spell 'weather'.

Little Johnny: W-e-t-t-h-e-r

Teacher: "Thats the worst spell of weather. we've had for some time"

Erchie and Jock,

are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's plans

for his forthcoming wedding.
"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock.

"I've got everything organised already:

the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception,

the rings,the minister, even ma stag night..."
Erchie nods approvingly.
"Hivvens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.
"A kilt?" exclaims Erchie,

"That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that!
"And what's the tartan?" Archie then enquires.
"Ach," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."

Pictures of Western Australia [Gday WA .com]

Western Rosella [commonly known as a "Twenty Eight"]

Kangaroos in the Bush

The bush is re generating after a bushfire

John Denver Sunshine