Phils Phun

G'day All

This working and blogging is getting harder each day, so will post whenever time allows

The West Coast Eagles lost another game on the weekend,

but still remain on top of the League Ladder

One of our Star players Chris Judd,

was reported by the men in white with a whistle

Has been given a one match suspension

for attempted eye gouging.

No doubt the club will be appealing tomorrow

The good news is that we had some great rainfall on Sunday night

Good soaking rainfall

Warning!

I'm not usually one for posting warnings

about potential scams but I hada close call on Sunday.

I walked into Bunning's Hardware at lunchtime

and someold guy dressed in a red shirt with a green apron

on asked me if I wanted decking.

Fortunately, I got the first punch in and sorted him out.

Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.

Very funny advert

Fun - video powered by Metacafe

West Aussies at the Footy in Melbourne

Home Sweet Home

My wifes book is bigger than that

A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink.

Walking up behind her he says,

"Hi there, good lookin'. How's it going?"
Having already downed a few power drinks,

she turns around, faces him,

looks him straight in the eye and says,

"Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, any time,

anywhere, your place, my place, in the car,

front door, back door, on the ground,

standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean ...

It just doesn't matter to me.

I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-ass love it."
Eyes now wide with interest, he responds,

"No kidding. I'm a lawyer too. What firm are you with?"

Short and funny Words of Wisdom
At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us,

"Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at
John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board
a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor,
a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
said he believes the man is a member
of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man,
who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said.
"They desire solutions by means and extremes,
and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.
"They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'
and refer to themselves as 'unknowns',
but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say,
'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.
"When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said,
"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction,
He would have given us more fingers and toes.
"White House aides told reporters they could not recall a
more intelligent or profound statement by the president.