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G'day All

Thursday here in the west

Abit of rain about today with more forecast

Footy starts for the Eagles Friday night with a game against the

Essendon bombers in Melbourne

A married man was visiting his “girlfriend”

when she requested him to shave his beard,

“Oh James, I like your beard,

but I would really love to see your handsome face.”
James replied, “My wife loves this beard.

I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!!!”.
“Oh please!!!” the girlfriend asked again,

in a sexy little voice…
“Really, I can’t,” he replied.

“My wife loves this beard!!!”
The girlfriend asked once more,

he sighed and finally gave in.

That night James crawled into bed next

to his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife was awakened, turned toward him,

felt his face and said,

“Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here.

My husband will be home soon!”

A husband and wife were arguing over who

should brew the coffee in the morning.

He assumed she should do it.

She said he should do it because

he was the first to get up in the morning:

"That way you won't have to wait."

He countered that the wife always brews the coffee,

just like she always does the cooking.

She claimed the Bible said otherwise.

He asked her to prove it.

Returning with a Bible,

she opened it to a page in the New Testament

and pointed to it: and indeed, it did say

"Hebrews".

A couple of senior cartoons

Gotta love Maxine

Fishing anyone???

Here are 12 of the finest double-entendres that were aired on British TV & Radio

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoria from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2 . New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother”

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it himself.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

RACEY Some Girls