Sunday, July 22, 2007


Weekend over and its back to work tomorrow

After two dismal weekends of footy the Eagles and the Dockers

found some form.

What a game from Ben Cousins and what a game by the Dockers

[maybe they should change their coach every week]

This is hilarious

Face Dance - video powered by Metacafe


As with many funerals, it was a cloudy ,rainy day
The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted
her entire married life to fussing at her poor husband.
When the graveside service had no more than terminated,
there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied
by a distant lightining bolt and more thunder.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmy said
"Well, she's there"

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting,
he looked up and said,"Grandma,
how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.
I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh.
I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.
She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring,
so he hurried to open the door,and there stood Grandma's minister.
The minister said,
"Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."
The Minister fainted [lifted from Miis Cellania]

Lost on a rainy night, a traveler stumbles across a monastery
and requests shelter there.
Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner,
and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had.
After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs.
She is met by the two Brothers who were the monastery cooks.
"Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for such a wonderful dinner.
The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted.
Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be ...?"
"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."
During a recent publicity outing,
Jennifer sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball,
the mystic delivered grave news.
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt:
Prepare yourself to be a widow.
Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined face,
then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.
She simply had to know.
She met the fortune teller's gaze,
steadied her voice, and asked her question.
"Will I be acquitted?"

CHINA .......... has its polltion problems as well

Guangzhou: Illegal motorbikes confiscated by police in an effort
to curb air pollution await destruction at a recycling company".

"Lanzhou, Gansu province:
A resident takes a water sample from the polluted Yellow river".

"Wuhan, Hebei province: A man collects dead fish in Donghu lake,
where officials say an estimated 30,000kg of fish have been killed
by a combination of pollution and hot weather".


The Oak Ridge Boys.....Elvira

Click on comments below

1 comment:

Scary Monster said...

Hi there Phil! Me be the Scary Monster and me just wanted to drop by and see what another schmoozers house be like. Good Jokes! Love the one about the two old ladies in church.
Me couldn't see the vid, but me got a few giggles from what was said on the soundtrack.

See ya again soon...