Its time for another blog
Here in Western Australia its a long weekend
The footy grand final is on [Go Cats]
The Perth Royal show starts Saturday
And fine weather is forecast
WHY SOME MEN DIE EARLY
Just for the ladies
Mouse Balls And Mouse Ball inspector
I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face.
This was a real memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness.
It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem.
The author of this memo was quite genuine.
The engineers rolled on the floor!
Especially note the last couple of sentences.
"If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure,
a replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.
Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.
Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method.
Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.
However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.
Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls
for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.
Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel
in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer."
The Nude Runner
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.
One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when,
to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
"Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window.
My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window ~ it's raining out there!"
"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied.
He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out
As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered
he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he
started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend
in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who
had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"
Another runner moved along side. "Do you always run carrying you clothes with you under your arm?"
"Oh, yes," our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get
dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you
always wear a condom when you run?"
"Nope.........just when it's raining."
[Thanks Josie Jamieson]
Thought this is just one cool photo
So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
“Welcome to Heaven,” says Saint Peter, “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
“No problem, just let me in; I’m a good Christian; I’m a believer,” says the PM.
“I’d like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself.
“But I’ve already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” replies Howard.
“I’m sorry … but we have our rules,” Peter interjects.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course.
Standing in front of it is Bob Menzies and thousands of other Liberals luminaries
They run to greet him, and to reminisce about the good times they
The Devil himself comes up to Howard with a single malt,
Seeing his hesitancy, the Devil reassures Howard.
“This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry
Howard takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil,
They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it’s time to go.
Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Howard steps into the lift and heads upward.
When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for him.
So for 24 hours Howard is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people
No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it’s not caviar or lobster.
“Whoa,” he says uncomfortably to himself.
The day done, Saint Peter returns and says,
With the ‘Deal or No Deal’ theme playing softly in the background,
So Saint Peter escorts him to the lift again and he goes down, down, down,
The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle
He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together.
The Devil comes over to Howard and puts an arm around his shoulder.
The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs,
Teddy Bear Hubcaps [Iwant some]
Zimbabwe where infation is 4000%
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
Australian media said the koala, nicknamed Mick,
"He came in with a chlamydial conjunctivitis.
She said Mick was not an albino, as he had a black nose and yellow eyes,