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G'day to all the readers of Phils Phun
By the time most of you read this, it will be Friday or into the weekend
Latest sporting Goss is that the Aussies beat India in Game 5 of the limited overs matches being played in India
Former West Coast Eagle player Chris Judd today became a Carlton player
in a deal reported to be worth 7million dollars for him over years
Eagles got two Carlton Draughts[Beer]...Drafts

Extremely funny

Love these two blokes

Good to see some new original basic comedy

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital,

the Allergists voted to scratch it

and the Dermatologists advised, no rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it,

but the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve,

and the Obstetricians stated they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted;

the Pathologists each yelled, “Over my dead body,”

while the Pediatricians said, “Grow up!”
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,

the Surgeons decided to wash their hands off the whole thing

and the Radiologists could see right through it!
The Physicians thought it was a bitter pill to swallow;

and the Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward,

but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas

and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say, ‘no.’
The dentists clenched their teeth and showed their disapproval.
In the end,

the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration.

---------

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island
who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."
-------------

THE GIRLS PRAYER

OUR CASH

WHICH ART ON PLASTIC

HALLOWED BE THY NAME

THY CARTIER WATCH

THY PRADA BAG

IN HARRODS

AS IT IS IN SELFRIDGES

GIVE US EACH DAY OUR PLATINUM VISA

AND FORGIVE US OUR OVERDRAFT

AS WE FORGIVE THOSE THAT STOP US SPENDING

AND LEAD US NOT UNTO MARKET STALLS

BUT DELIVER US UNTO LOUIS VUITTON

FOR THINE IS THE GUCCI

THE DIOR AND THE ARMANI

FOR CHANEL No 5 AND ETERNITY

AMEX

THE BOYS PRAYER

OUR BEER

WHICH COMETH IN BOTTLES

HALLOWED BE THY ALE

THY WILL BE DRUNK

I WILL BE DRUNK

AT HOME AS WE ARE IN THE PUB

GIVE US EACH DAY OUR DAILY BEVERAGE

AND FORGIVE US OUR SPILLAGES

AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILLAGE AGAINST US

AND LEAD US NOT INTO POOFY WINEBARS

OR DETRACT US FROM REAL ALE

FOR MINE IS THE BITTER

THE TOTTY AND THE FOOTY

FOREVER AND EVER

BARMEN
[ThanksRon Wilson]

What's slippery, lives in the sea

and loves Dean Martin?

That's a Moray!

thats probably thec worst joke ever!!!

Ifound it







Cartoons [Misc]

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the behaviour that was going on.

So he called one of his angels to go to earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God,
"Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."

God thought for a moment and said,

"Maybe I had better send down another angel to get a second opinion."

So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time, too.

Whenthe angel returned he went to God And said,

"Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% arebeing good."
God was not pleased.

So he decided to email the 5%, who were good,

because He wanted to encourage them,

give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the email said?



No




Okay, just wondering. I didn't get one either....

Apparently, God can't handle money and he needs yours

Don't forget he loves you




I was feeling a bit depressed the other day,

so I called the Help Hotline.

I was put through to a call centre in Pakistan.

I explained that I was feeling suicidal.

They were very excited at this news and

wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane....
[pinched from Big Shot Bob in Texas]

STOP GLOBAL WARMING

Mad Cow Disease Explained
A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease.
"Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?"
"Sure. Do you know the bulls only have sex with the cows once a year?"
"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information,

but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?"
"And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?"
"Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?"
"Lady, the point is this:

if I'm playing with your boobs twice a day,

but only having sex once a year,

wouldn't you go mad, too?"

[Sent in by Ron Wilson..Thanks Ron..Ihad to clean it up a bit!!]
--------------

[An oldie ,but Goldie from Jim King]
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee

when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long Black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse

about 50 feet behind the first.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash.

Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity.

He respectfully approached the man walking the dog.

"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you,

but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file.

Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."

"What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered,

"My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Join the queue"

I was checking out Big Shot Bob in Texas Blog a couple of days ago and saw this video posted

Its the latest from John Fogerty

You will notice a couple of his sons in the video

John Fogerty...Don't you wish it was true

And for those who want to see some more older nostalgia

This is for you

The Hollies ....He ain't heavy,He's my brother

Smoking Kills

Click twice on the pointer to view