Just to make sure your paying attention, do this
I always knew the Scots were a little mad
Don't try any of these at home
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub.
They all suffer from a severe stutter.
'What's it to be ?' asks the stunningly beautiful landlady.
'Th th th th th th three pi pi pi pi pi..................'says the Englishman.
Up steps the Irishman. 'Threeee p pints of of of of gui gui gui gui..............'
Then the Scotsman tries.'Th th th th th th th th th th th th th th...............'
'Oh bugger this !' says the beautiful landlady and walks away to serve someone else.
She returns ten minutes later and asks if they are ready to order yet.
'Th th th th th th three pi pi pi pi pi', stutters the Englishman.
'Three pints of gui gui gui gui.........' tries Paddy.
And then Scotty starts 'Th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th...........'.
'Look' says the beautiful landlady, who loves a bet,
'If any one of you can answer a question without
stuttering I'll let you make love to me!'
Quite confident that no one will win, she turns to the Englishman.
'Where do you live?'
'M M M M M M M Man Man Man Man Manch Manch Manch.'
'No. You lose.' says the beautiful landlady.
Turning to the Scotsman, she asks, 'Where do you live Scotty?', trying not to laugh.
'E E E E E Ed Ed Ed Edin Edin Edin Edin Edin Edin Edinb.'
'Sorry, you lose.' says the gorgeous woman.
'And Paddy, where do you live?' she purrs at the Irishman.
'London' blurts out the Irishman.
'Oh. Bugger!' says the landlady.
A great cheer goes up in the pub and the landlady reluctantly takes him by
the hand and leads him upstairs.
Once in the bedroom she strips to her underwear, next she takes off her bra
exposing a voluptous bosom.
Finally she slides off her panties then climbs into bed.
Paddy with concentration furrowing his brow,
climbs on and goes for glory,
and then, right at the climaxing
stroke, he suddenly screams out '...............-
D D D D D D D D Derry!!'
Caught another one
What can I say!!!!!!...the sign says it all
More Punny Business
Gary Shearston.....Iget a kick out of you
Another candidate for Parent of the year
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high;
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot,
Young Arthur was horrified.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden;
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered..
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch,
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below.
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time
Now....what is the moral to this story?
The moral is..... If you don't let a woman have her own way...
A few funny signs
Bobby Bloom....Montego Bay
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?
It’s called the Anal Optic Nerve,
If you don’t believe it,