An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers.
He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter.
As he's drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other,
an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says
"Hey, what's that little green thing down there?"
The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a raspberry, "SPLBLBLBLT!,"
right in the face and runs back to the Irishman.
The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman,
"Hey, what is that thing, anyway?"
The Irishman replies, "Have some respect. He's a leprechaun."
"Oh, all right." the Englishman says sullenly.
They all go back to drinking beer.
An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered.
"Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard!" he says.
The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT!
This time the Englishman is really mad!
"Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I'll cut his dick off!" he shouts
"You can't do that" says the Irishman.
"Leprechauns don't have dicks."
"How do they pee, then?" asks the bewildered Englishman.
"They don't," says the Irishman.
"They go SPLBLBLBLBT."
Coke heads........Japanese style
A sea of Satellite dishes
Bunk over @Tacky Raccoons will like this video
I'm the first
Dreaming my Dreams
Hooked on a ceiling
It can buy you a House,
Here you go then ,just for you
THE LAST SAY
* A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
* Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
* Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
* Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
* Don't let your mind wander; it's far too small to be let out on its own.
* Don't thank me for insulting you; it was a pleasure.
* Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?
* Grasp your ears firmly and pull; you might just be able to remove your head from you ass.
* He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.
* Her mouth is dirtier than a rubber toilet seat.
* I bet you get bullied a lot.
* I can tell that you are lying; your lips are moving.
* I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
* I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.
* I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
* I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit for the one thing you've done yourself?
* I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.
* I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
* I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
* I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.
* I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.
* I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.
* If I want shit from you, I'll squeeze your head.
* If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head.
* If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder…it would be an apocalypse!
* If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.
* I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
* I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
* I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
* I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.
* Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
* Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
* People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
* Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
* She's the first in her family born without tail.
* Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.
* That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
* There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.
* This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
* What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
* Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
* What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
* When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
* You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.
* You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
* You are not even beneath my contempt.
* You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.
* You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
* You grow on people, but so does cancer.
* You have a nasty speech impediment…your foot.
* You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.
* You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.
* You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.
* Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.
* You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.