Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I'm Back from holidays up north
Ihave posted a couple of pictures to make you envious
Here is me,[below] holding a 2 year old "salty" at the Broome crocodile park
With that shirt and no shave for a few days, sure look like someone from the back counties of Tennessee. You will notice the crocs jaws are taped, as even at this age he will quickly take off a finger or two

One of his mates at the park

The road into Cape Leveque is unsealed in sections

Took a plane trip over the Horizontal falls
This area has some of the bigggest tides in the world
8-10 Metre tides are not uncommon
The tide turnaround is about 6 hours
You can ride thru these by boat or raft if you have the dollars

approaching Cape Leveque by air [2000ft]
you can just make out the lighthouse and part of the road to the resort

A couple of the 9 mango crabs we caught
These little buggers will take off your fingers and toes also if your not careful
Very muddy exercise to catch these as you have to trudge thru the mangroves at low tide
But very yummy

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AFL [Football] is over for another year with my team
not making the finals[playoffs]
So, its mothballs until 2009

The Pope Visits Alaska
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sight-seeing.
He was cruising along the campground in the Pope mobile when there
was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat,
and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically,
thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10 foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up.
One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest...
The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding,
semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.
Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear
and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the
other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over.
"I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them.
"I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies
"Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope," another replied.
"He's in direct contact with heaven and has access to all wisdom."
"Well," the logger said,
"he may have access to all wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting!
By the way, is the bait holding up,
or do we need to go back to Vermont and snatch another one?

KIWI Bacon

thanks Jammo

Which Way???????????

Four Year Old Logic
I was talking to this little girl, Catherine, the daughter of some friends.
She said she wanted to be President someday.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with us.
I asked Catherine - 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
Catherine replied - 'I would give houses to all the Homeless people.
''Wow - what a worthy goal you have there, Catherine.' I told her,
'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that,
you can come over to my house and clean up all the dog poop in my back yard
and I will pay you $5 dollars.
Then, we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out,
and you can give him the $5 dollars to use for a new house.
Catherine (who was about 4) thought that over for a second,
while her Mom looked at me seething.
Catherine replied,
'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop
and you can just pay him the $5 dollars?'
And I said,
'Welcome to the Republican Party'.

Australia's dangerous creature...Blue ringed Octopus

Note: if you encounter the creature above(blue ringed octopus) whilst snorkeling off the coast of Australia (HQ of evil venomous things), snorkel away very quickly.
Part of the pretty but deadly animal group
.With a beak that can penetrate a wet-suit,
they are one little cute creature to definitely look at
BUT Don't touch.
The bite might be painless, but this octopus injects a neuromuscular paralyzing venom.
The venom contains some maculotoxin,
a poison more violent than any found on land animals.
The nerve conduction is blocked and neuromuscular paralysis is followed by death.
The victim might be saved if artificial respiration starts before
marked cyanosis and hypotension develops.
The blue-ringed octopus is the size of a golf ball
but its poison is powerful enough to kill an adult human in minutes.
There's no known antidote.
The only treatment is hours of heart massage and artificial respiration
until the poison has worked its way out of your system.
The venom contains tetrodotoxin, which blocks sodium channels and causes motor paralysis
and occasionally respiratory failure.
Though with fixed dilated pupils, the senses of the patients are often intact.
The victims are aware but unable to respond.
Although the painless bite can kill an adult,
injuries have only occurred when an octopus has been picked out of its pool
and provoked or stepped on.
Onset of nausea.
Hazy Vision. ( Within seconds you are blind.)
Loss of sense of touch, speech and the ability to swallow.
Within 3 minutes, paralysis sets in and your body goes into respiratory arrest.
The poison is not injected but is contained in the octopus's saliva,
which comes from two glands each as big as its brain.
Poison from the one is used on its main prey, crabs, and is relatively harmless to humans.
Poison from the other gland serves as defense against predators.
The blue-ringed octopus either secretes the poison in the vicinity of its prey,
waits until it is immobile and then devours it,
'or it jumps out and envelops the prey in its 8 tentacles and bites it.

"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist.
"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled.
"Many people are fond of animals.
As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are very attached to."
"But, doctor," continued the troubled patient,
"I feel ummm,... *physically* attracted to my horse!"
"Hmmm," the doctor asked,
"Is it male or female?"
"Female, of course!" the man replied.
"What do you think I am...GAY?"

Some magic from Penn and Teller

Here is something to drive you crazy
Did you play memory games when you were younger
Try this
If you bomb out,
just click cancel and then ok and you can restart

A couple of songs that got a hammering on the CD Player on the trip north
The Turtles

Edison Lighthouse

I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our three young· sons to an up market restaurant for the first time.
My husband ordered·a bottle of wine with the meal.
When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking.
She poured a small amount for me to taste,
and then our six-year-old piped up,
"Mom usually drinks a lot more than that!"
"As a burglar, John Pearce thinks nothing of turning his victims' homes upside down.
But this time it was the house that turned him the wrong way up.
Attempting a daylight raid, the 32-year-old somehow got his foot caught
after smashing his way through the front window of a Victorian terrace home at 6pm.
Unable to free himself, Pearce was left hanging upside down in the window frame
for more than an hour as a crowd of 30 neighbours and passers-by
gathered to ridicule him in Dartford, Kent.
When owner Paul Ives arrived home from work,
Pearce, who was armed with a hammer,
tried to claim that he had spotted someone else trying to raid the house
and had selflessly attempted to catch the scoundrel, getting stuck in the process.
Unsurprisingly, Mr Ives didn't believe his story and declined to set him free.
Police and paramedics arrived on the scene and eventually managed
to release Pearce's shoe and haul him down.
It is believed that the lace in one of his trainers became caught in the window frame
as he tried to clamber through.
He was arrested, handcuffed and taken to the police station".

Shawn was sitting in his usual place at the table, reading the paper during breakfast.
He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player known primarily for his lack of I.Q. and common knowledge. · ·
He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face and said
"I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."


Half-Redneck said...

Looks like you had a great time. Glad y'all made it home safe and sound and with all your fingers and toes!

dana wyzard said...

This is my first trip here and right off the bat, I'd say you've gotta start playing with things that won't take a finger off! How about a puppy?

Don said...

Very interesting posts mate. I always wanted to call someone mate--being a yank and stuff.

Phils Phun said...

just testing to see if this works

archiearchive said...

Hey, it works - I see you were up my way for the holiday. It's not a bad part of the continent, is it :)

Stevie Boy said...

Hi Mate, I forgot what an ugly bastard you were. BTW I didn't know you owned an FBI sweat shirt. Good thing I don't sing our club song, hey? I'll pass on your sentiments to The Lovely Diane.

Cheers, mate.

Jack K. said...

I like the garbage truck tale. I had an opportunity to practice the concept the other day.

As a Reiki practitioner, I really got a laugh out of the Reiki cartoon. How sweet life is.

Thanks, man.

Bunk Strutts said...

Love the Booker T. video, and thanks for the linkage.

Chris said...

Thanks for posting this great story! My name is Chris, and I work with David J. Pollay, the author of The Law of the Garbage Truck™ - Beware of Garbage Trucks™! I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you can read the original story on David’s blog davidjpollay.typepad.com. I know he’d love to have you stop by!

Also check out the video of people in New York City taking the No Garbage Trucks!™ Pledge: bewareofgarbagetrucks.com. It’s pretty cool.

Thanks again!