The tale of a flight crew
September 15th 2008
This is an actual incident, which has been hidden from the world press so far.
Its all over the internet now…
The brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built,
sat in its hangar in Toulouse, France without a single hour of airtime.
Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) on November 15, 2007 to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground,
such as engine run-ups, prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi.
The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area.
Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft.
Not having read the run-up manuals, they had no clue
just how light an empty A340-600 really is.
The takeoff warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because
they had all 4 engines at full power.
The aircraft computers thought they were trying to takeoff but
it had not been configured properly (flaps/slats, etc.)
Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on
the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm.
This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air.
The computers automatically released all the brakes and set the aircraft rocketing forward.
The ADAT crew had no idea that this is a safety feature
so that pilots can’t land with the brakes on.
Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew was smart enough to
throttle back the engines from their max power20setting,
so the $200 million brand-new aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totaling it.
The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown,
for there has been a news blackout in the major media in France and elsewhere.
Coverage of the story was deemed insulting to Moslem Arabs.
Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.
Sarcastic One Liners
1. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
2. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
3. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
4. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
5. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
6. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
7. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
8. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
9. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
10. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
11. A woman’s favorite position is CEO.
12. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
13. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
14. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
15. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 1?
16. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
17. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
18. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.
19. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
20. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
21. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
22. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
23. If At First You Don’t Succeed, Blame Someone Else And SeekCounseling.
24. You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.