Saturday, September 20, 2008


Short cut to the top

My brother sent me these images of the devastation caused by Hurricane Ike
Click on the images to enlarge them

September 10th.. Hurricane Ike from the International Space Station 220 miles above Earth

September 8th .... Port De Paix, Haiti remains flooded after 4 storms in one month

September 12th..Burning Marina Warehouse in Galveston,Texas

September 12th....Galveston Island, Texas

September 12th..Flooding across Road 523 to Surfside Beach

September 14th...House sitting in debris at Crystal Beach

September 12th..House burns in flooded Galveston neighbourhood

September 13th....Bulldozer clearing debris from Interstate45

Worlds best witticisms
The sex was so good that even the neighbours had a cigarette.
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Born free... taxed to death.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I've ever made.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Horn broken, watch for finger.
All men are idiots ... I married their king.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
Give pizza chants.
How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!
If something goes without saying, LET IT!
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
This would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me.
I have the body of a god... Buddha!
I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
If you don't like the news, go out and make your own.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.I
f we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.
Roy Orbison.....Unchained Melody

For all of those ot there who keep posting pictures of stupid cats
Here is another for you

God visits the garden of Eden and sees Adam sitting under a tree relaxing.
"So Adam, how are you doing?", God says.
To this Adam replies, "I'm doing fine God, just finished having sex, and it was great!"
God smiles and asks, "Where is Eve at?"
"She's washing herself in the river, God."
"NO!" screams God,
"I'll never get that smell out of my fish!"

For all you footy fans

So I heard the strangest thing on the radio yesterday.
It was an interview of a guy whose hobby was eating endangered birds.
He went into great detail of all the meals that he'd had -
bald eagle stew, deep fried condor wings, breast of kestrel, that kind of thing.
The interviewer then asks him,
"So have you eaten any egrets at all?"
"Egrets?" he said
"I've had a few. But then again, too few to munch on."


A touch of realism
A psychology student at a local university was sent on a field assignment
to evaluate three patients in a local mental hospital.
The first patient was locked in his room throwing tennis balls everywhere.
The student asked why, and the patient answered
"When I get out of here I going to ba a tennis pro."
The second patient was locked in his room throwing baseballs everywhere.
When asked why he said
"When I get out of here I going to be a professional baseball player."
The student thought he was starting to get the hang of things,
until he looked in on the third patient.
There locked in the middle of the room was a naked man,
masturbating with a peanut on the end of his penis.
The student asked, "I understand about the others,
but what are you going to be when you get out of here?"
"They're never going to let me out of here," the patient said
"I'm f******g nuts!"

1 comment:

Florida 5708 said...

I like the campaign against people posting pictures of there cats!

This is a good one too!