Thursday, October 2, 2008


Leningrad Cowboys and the Red Army Choir
Sweet Home Alabama

The Leningrad Cowboys is a Finnish rock and roll band famous for its humorous songs
and concerts featuring the Soviet Red Army Choir.
Currently, the band has eleven Cowboys and two Leningrad Ladies.
The songs, all somewhat influenced by polka and progressive rock,
and performed in English, have themes such as 'vodka', 'tractors', 'rockets',
and 'Genghis Khan', as well as folkloric Russian songs, rock and roll ballads
and covers from bands as diverse as The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Lynyrd Skynyrd,
all with lots of humour. -----------------------------------
The Red Army Choir (Choir Aleksandrov) is a performing ensemble that served
as the official army choir of the former Soviet Union's Red Army.
The choir consists of a male choir, an orchestra, and a dance ensemble.
The songs they perform range from Russian folk tunes to Church hymns,
operatic arias and popular music.
In 1991, The Red Army Choir participated in Roger Waters' The Wall concert celebrating the fall of the Berlin Wall.
They performed an anti-war song "Bring the Boys Back Home".
Since the collapse of the Soviet Union,
the Red Army Choir has continued performing,
entertaining audiences both inside and outside Russia. «
An Irish joke
Irish they were and drunk for sure, and they sat in the corner
of Mulligan's newly refurbished bar.
Across the wall opposite was a huge mirror,
fourteen feet long and stretching from floor to ceiling.
Glancing around the room Pat suddenly spotted their reflection in the mirror.
'Mick, Mick,' he whispered.
'Don't look now but there's two fellas over there the image of us!'
'In the name of God,' said Mick, spotting the reflection.
'They're wearing identical clothes and everything.'
'That does it,' said Pat. 'I'm going to buy them a drink.'
But as Pat started to rise from his seat, Mick said,
'Sit down Pat one of them's coming over


It was announced today that the local climate in the UK
should no longer be referred to as 'English weather.
'In order to avoid offending a sizable portion of the population,
it willnow be referred to as 'Muslim weather.'
In other words - 'partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite.'

Neighbourhood watch

Note where the exhaust pipe is

Not any more

Hitching a ride

Anybody watching???

Some more Irish Jokes ..
"Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another?
And what would I be wanting two empty glasses for" replied O'Flaherty.
"Teresa has just had twins" roared Murphy angrily.
Just wait until I get my hands on the other fellow"
"Hey Paddy, here's the five dollars that I borrowed last week"
Thanks Mick, I had forgotten all about it."
Then why the bloody hell didn't yer say so?"
There was a power failure in a Dublin department store.
Thousands of shoppers were stranded on the escalators for hours.
Paddy had just become the proud father of twins and
he was asked if they were identical.
"The boy is but the girls not" he said. "
Hey Shaun, what's Mick's surname?
Shaun "Mick who?
The backpacker asked farmer Mick directions to the next township.
"Well go straight to the end of this lane, turn right, go over the bridge and then turn left".
"Oh thanks" said the backpacker.
As an afterthought farmer Mick then added
"But if I was you I wouldn"t start from here"

Duane Eddy
Rebel Rouser

Ghost Riders in the Sky

For Geoff Collins, who I know loves this tune

A man was charged with stealing ducks from a local pond in a small English village.
When in court, the judge asked how he pleaded.
He replied 'Not guilty, Mallard"
Did you hear about the new line of Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses?
They will be for people who love meat tender.
I had a nightmare that I was in Panama during a snowstorm.
I was dreaming of a white isthmus.
As Reynoldo lit the votive candle at the grotto for San Jose de los Platanos,
and prayed for the healthy delivery of his first child,
he heard a disembodied voice say,
"Your daughter will be born 17 inches long,"
To which Reynoldo replied,
"Do you know the weight, too, San Jose?

Burning CD's

In the country lived a family that made its living weaving cloth.
One day, a debt collector knocked on the door.
"Is Jack home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.
"I'm sorry," the woman replied.
"Jack's gone for cotton."
A few weeks later the collector tried again.
"Is Jack here today?"
Once again the answer was
"No, sir, I'm afraid he has gone for cotton."
When he returned for the third time and Jack was still nowhere to be seen,
he complained,
"I suppose Jack is gone for cotton again?"
"No," the woman answered solemnly,
"Jack died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided,
the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery.
Sure enough, he found poor Jack's tombstone, with this inscription:

"Gone, But Not for Cotton."


A guy is walking through Chinatown in New York.
He is fascinated by all the Chinese restaurants, the shops,
the signs and banners on all the buildings.
He is having the greatest time just walking and looking around.
He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign that says,
"Hans Olafsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olafsen?" he thinks.
"How in the world does that fit in here?"
So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner.
The visitor asks,
"How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olafsen's Laundry?"
The old man says, "Is name of owner."
The visitor asks, "Who is the owner?"
"I am he," answers the old man.
"You? How did you get a name like Hans Olafsen?"
The old man replies:"Many years ago, when come to this country,
I standing in line at immigration office.
Man in front was big Swede.
Lady look at him and say "What your name?"
and he say "Hans Olafsen".
Next, she look at me ---
"What your name?"
I say "Saim Ting"

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted."
It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.

Things That Are (Almost) Impossible To Do With Your Body

There are things that you think you should be able to do with your body. But if you’re like 99.9999% of people in the world, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t quite manage to do it. Here is a list of things that are almost impossible to do with your body,
1. Raise One Eyebrow
2. Lick Your Elbow
3. Gleeking (the term means projecting saliva from the submandibular gland upon compression by the tongue)
4. Twitch Your Nose (Y’know, twitch your nose like the witch Samantha Stephens of Bewitched.)
5. Wiggle Your Ear
6. Touch Your Nose or Chin With Your Tongue
7. Sneeze with Your Eyes Open
8. Draw The Number Six While Making Clockwise Circles With Your Leg
9. Put Your Fist in Your Mouth


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