Thursday, January 1, 2009

193






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Happy new Year...Michael Buble

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An American, a Canadian and a Scotsman go to Heaven
On a dark and stormy night, an American, Canadian and a Scot were in a horrible car accident. All three were rushed to the hospital, though all three had died before they arrived.
Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American,
he awoke and opened his eyes.
Astonished, the doctors and nurses asked him what had happened.
"Well," said the American,
"I remember the crash, and then there was a bright white light,
and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the pearly gates of heaven.
St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die,
and that for a donation of $150 we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $150,
and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors,
"But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scotsman was haggling over the price
and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay his."

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Stole these three links from A Welsh View
Boston.com has accumulated many of the great photos from 2008
Take a look

part one of the best 'Big Pictures' from 2008.
The Best 'Big Pictures' Of 2008 Part 2
The Best 'Big Pictures' Of 2008 Part 3

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Welcome 2009



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A couple had two children, a boy and a girl, who both turned out to be gay.
At first they remained closeted,
but they were both musicians, and when they found themselves quasi-famous,
they feared being exposed in the press and decided it was better
if they were forthcoming about their sexuality.
The daughter has scheduled a press conference for this afternoon in which she plans
to introduce her life partner to the press and tell the world she's a lesbian.
And the son'll come out tomorrow.

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Games Seniors play


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They have to useful for something



You light up my Life




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Cartoons







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Three cowboys were sitting in a bar discussing women.
"I think Southern Women are the prettiest," one of them said.
"I think Southern women are the toughest," said another.
The third said, "I think they're the most polite.That's why they don't like group sex."
His friends looked at him, confused.
"They don't like group sex?"
"Nope, too many thank-you notes to write."

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Love Defined

Had a couple of phone calls from Elvis Fans after my Motivator Picture
of Fat Elvis in the last blog

So this is for you Peter [and all the other Elvis fans]

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Get with it
An old man sitting on his front porch in Louisiana watching the sunrise sees the
neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.
He yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
The boy yells back, "Roll of chicken wire."
The old man says, "What you gonna do with that?"
The boy says, "Catch some chickens."
The old man yells, "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise,
he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.
At the same time the next morning, the old man is out watching the sunrise
and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand.
The old man yells out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
The boy yells back, "Roll of duck tape."
The old man says, "What you gonna do with that?"
The boy says back, "Catch me some ducks."
The old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That night, around sunset, the boy walks by coming home
and to the old man's amazement, he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape
with about 35 ducks caught in it.
At the same time the next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by
carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.
The old man says, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
The boy says, "It's a pussy willow."
The old man says "Hold on, I'll get my hat"

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Give me a call


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Auld Lang Syne






Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site are
understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.

3 comments:

Bunk Strutts said...

Happy New Year, Phil! I miss 2008 already.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I hope you have a wonderful New Year Phil. I've enjoyed reading your posts and stealing one here and there. :)

Half-Redneck said...

I hope you have a great 2009, Phil!