Thursday, February 5, 2009

Some time over the next 24/36 hours
this humble little blog will record 50,000 hits
I thank you all for your support
Blogger is not allowing me to put in the "Post a Comment"
However you can do this at the end of this post

Imust remember to drink to this

Economic Stimulus Payment
"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.
This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format
:Q. "What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?"
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. "Where will the government get this money?"
A. From taxpayers.
Q. "So the government is giving me back my own money?"
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. "What is the purpose of this payment?"
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set,
thus stimulating the economy.
Q. "But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? "
A. Shut up.
Instrumental Hits
There is very little footage of "Mr Piano "Floyd Cramer on You Tube
However I found this
Floyd Cramer.....Last Date

Even if you don't own a dog at present,

you'll appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog.
Read her sales pitch below...

Dog For Sale
Excellent guard dog.
Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore,as there are no more thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the
neighborhood for him to eat.
Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit'.

Thanks Joan

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog,
tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a
restaurant for something cold to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked,
'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?
The blonde said it was hers.
Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.
The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.'
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread.
She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand.
Your dog wants to have sex
The blonde looked at the cop and said,
'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.
Thanks Joan

CARTOONS.........Cowboys and Indians


A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant,
who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.
It was nearly 4 P. M.
And getting a jury would take time,
so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel
anyone available for jury duty.
He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.
The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience
and so followed the judge back to the courtroom.
The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty.
The jury went into the jury room, the judge started getting ready to go home,
and everyone waited.
After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience
and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict.
When the bailiff returned, the judge said,
"Well have they got a verdict yet?"
The bailiff shook his head and said,
"Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
A woman went to her doctor for advice.
She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex,
and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.
“Do you enjoy it?” the doctor asked.
“Actually, yes, I do,” said the woman.
“Does it hurt you?” he asked.
“No. I rather like it,” she responded
.“Well, then,” the doctor continued, “there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex,
if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.”
The woman was mystified.
“What?! You can get pregnant from anal sex?”
“Of course,” the doctor replied.
“Where do you think lawyers and politicians come from?”


Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his penis.
A woman asks, 'What are you?'
He says, 'I'm a Fireman' ???
'But you're only wearing a glass jar?', says the woman.
'Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob and I'll come as fast as I can!'
Thanks Josie


Million Dollar ....... FAIL

Boyz Will Be Boyz
In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl.
The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.
Then, the young girl proposes,
"If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs."
The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet
.And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs.
Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs,"
and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill.
The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full.
Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats.
Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100,
I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."
All three fork over the money.
The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing.
"See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"

No Smoking


Ten reasons why Golf is better than Sex
David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....
#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#7... Foursomes are encouraged.
#6... You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#5... Three times a day is possible.
#4... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#3... If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#2... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....
#1... If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it!




funny signs


One day in the future, Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.
"You are on my list, but I have no room for you.
You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Osama bin Laden thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water.
He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.
"No," Osama bin Laden said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer
and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day" commented Osama bin Laden.
The devil opened a third door.
In it, Osama bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Osama bin Laden took this in disbelief and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said
"OK, Monica, you're free to go".

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at


Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Loved the stimulus plan one. Ain't it the truth. Also love the funny crash compilation. I cringed the whole time.

Congratulations on your hit counter numbers. Way to go. Have a terrific day Phil. :)

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Oh, I stole the anal sex one. It will post tomorrow. Thanks. :)