Saturday, April 11, 2009

223










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Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before St. Peter.
He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom,
they had to tell him what Easter was.
The first blonde said,

"Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The second blonde said,

"Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is,

and St. Peter said, "So, tell me."
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover.

Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas,
and the Romans arrested him.
The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died.
Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ...
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."
Then the blonde continued,

"Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out.
If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted.


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Thanks Duke

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Anywhere. Anytime





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Sure beats Wordless Wednesday's


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R2Beer2



Grab one now




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Cartoons....Married Life


















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Baker`s Assistant
Many years ago, a baker`s assistant called Richard the Pourer,
whose job it was to pour the dough mixture in the making of sausage rolls,
noted that he was running low on one of the necessary spices,
he sent his apprentice to the store to buy more.
Unfortunately, upon arriving at the shop,
the young man realized that he had forgotten the name of the ingredient.
All he could do was to tell the shopkeeper that it was for Richard the Pourer,
for batter for wurst.
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A remote tribal village in Africa had only one thing of earthly value
and that was the throne of their king.
The chair was huge and covered with gold and jewels.
A rival tribe learned of their wealth and made plans to invade and steal the throne.
When the invasion began the tribe hoisted the chair high
into the rafters of the king's hut and quickly built a false ceiling.
The invaders came but could not find the treasure.
After the marauding tribe left the villagers celebrated with much music and dancing.
The ruckus from the celebration caused the throne
to come crashing down upon the villagers completely wiping out the tribe.
The moral of the story:
"Those that live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones"




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Bungee Bike Jumping


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A little bit of Kentucky Humor [for Miss Cellania]









You Know your from Kentucky
You know your from kentucky when your dad gets jealous cause you have a boyfriend.
You know your from kentucky when your stereo in your pickup is valued at more than the pickup.
You know your from kentucky when, you can slurp your soup up through your missin tooth.
You know your from kentucky when, you call your grandmother mom and your mom Kathy. You know your from kentucky when, Your dream home sits on the back of your pickup.
You know your from kentucky when, you take a beer to your job interview.
You know your from kentucky when, your neighbors think dsl means "damn stupid lizard."
You know your from kentucky when, every story you tell begins with "Yall aint gonna believe this shit."
You know your from kentucky when, You use the words them and there in the same sentence. example..
Did you see them there damn stupid lizards.
You know your from kentucky when, you wont date a chick cause her brother hasnt screwed her yet, your reason for not dating her being.
If she aint good enough for her own family, she aint good enough for ours..




Two Kentuckians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other,
and one is carrying a sack.
When they meet, one says,
"Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm ... five?"

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Hats of the Kentucky Derby [cool pictures]








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Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.




6 comments:

Sandy said...

Not much, that we can tell. But that's because this is not a subjective crisis. Whether the situation has really improved does not depend on how you perceive a bank's balance sheet or a company's earnings. It depends on whether that balance sheet is actually healthy and the company can actually grow earnings.

Bunk Strutts said...

"You know when your from Kentucky" when you don't know that "you're" is the proper grammar...

Bunk Strutts said...

Phil-- You owe me a monitor.

Phils Phun said...

G'day Bunk
You can't have my monitor because its buggered, [has big dents in it]
You're not from Kentucky are you??
Cheers

Miss Lyd said...

Hey Phil, thanks!
Your blog is very cool - I have added you to my links - good to have a fellow Aussie!
Have a good one,
Miss Lyd.

Phils Phun said...

G'day Miss Lyd
Thank you for your comments and it is great to have a fellow aussie with the same taste in humour
Cheers