Saturday, March 12, 2011



402



------




---



WHY IS YOUR COUNTRY BROKE???

Learning who is the 'bread winner' in the family may give us a key to the answer!!
I was speaking to an emergency room physician this morning.
He told me that a woman in her 20s came to the ER with her 8 th pregnancy .
She stated, "my momma told me that I am the breadwinner for the family ."
He asked her to explain.
She said that she can make babies and babies get money for the family.
It goes like this:
The grandma calls the Department of Child and Family Services
and states that the unemployed daughter is not capable of caring for these children.
DCFS agrees and states that the child or children will need to go to foster care.
The grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent,
and thus receives a check for $1500 per child per month in Illinois
Total yearly income: $144,000 tax-free,
not to mention free healthcare (Medicaid) plus a monthly card
entitling her to free groceries, etc,
and a voucher for 250 free cell phone minutes per month.
This does not even include WIC and other welfare programs..
Indeed, grandma was correct in that her fertile daughter
is the "breadwinner" for the family.
This is how the ruling class spends our tax dollars.
Is this a GREAT COUNTRY or what..
.Don't forget to pay your taxes!!!
There are a lot of “Breadwinners” depending on you & I


thanks Kitty L




---



-













thanks Kitty l
-------




There was a knock on the door this morning,
I opened it and there was a young man standing there who said,
"I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
I said, "Come in and sit down.
Now what do you want to talk about .... ?"
He said, " Damned if I know ....
.I've never got this far before" .....


----------







----

Gas prices










thanks Wayne W



----------




Those Funny Animals


















--------





thanks Pommie Jayne


-----










------





It's been raining on the Rock














thanks Shane J


---------








thanks Gordon H



-------------





-------




thanks Gordon H
-----------




thanks Liz Z



----




thanks Gordon H



------




---




The Human Body

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.
A human hair can hold 3kg.
The length of a penis is 3x the length of the thumb.
The femur is as hard as concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster then a man's.
Women blink 2x as much as men.
We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.
The woman has read this entire text.
The man is still looking at his thumb

thanks Kitty L



---------




thanks Pommy Jayne


-------






thanks Brigette Mc



---------








A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at 3 a.m.
The chief petty officer spied him
and ordered the sailor to stop.
The officer commanded the sailor,
"Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning,
or it's the brig for you!"
The sailor picked up the broom and started to sweep the chain.
Just then, a tern landed on the broom handle.
The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't.
The lad pulled the tern off the broom handle
giving the bird a toss.
The bird left, only to return and land once again on the broom handle.
The sailor went through the same routine all over again,
with the same result.
He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep
at the chain once or twice before the silly bird came back.
When morning came, so did the chief petty officer,
to check up on his wayward sailor.
"What on earth have you been doing all night?
This chain is no cleaner than when you started!
What have you to say for yourself, sailor?" barked the chief.
"Honest, chief," came the reply,
"I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"


-------

thanks Toni


Spring is just around the corner

thanks Toni

---------





thanks Liz Z


--------




----
Don't be stiff when you get older




thanks Liz and Alan



---------



My daughter just walked into the living room and said
"Dad cancel my allowance, rent out my room,
throw all my clothes out of the window,
take my TV, stereo, iPhone and jewelry to the charity shop.
Sell my car, take my door keys and throw me out of the house".
Well she didn't actually put it like that... she said...





















"Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed."



thanks Gordon H



------


Watch till the end




thanks Kitty L





--------




A FEW FUNNY SIGNS















-----------







-------




thanks Kitty L
-----------






--------


thanks Duke



-------




"PHILS PHILOSOPHY"





something to soothe you







-------





Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.




video
thanks Liz Z

5 comments:

Vinvin said...

Thanks for the Manhattan Transfer video.

Have a beautiful day Phil !

Anonymous said...

Phil's got the best blog ever!!!

Phils Phun said...

Hi Vin Vin
glad you enjoyed that great song

Phils Phun said...

Hi Anon
Thanks for that
Always good to get some feed back
Continue to enjoy

Phils Phun said...

Hi Anon
Thanks for that
Always good to get some feed back
Continue to enjoy