498

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Awesome!!

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John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding.

They were discussing the details with their friends. Nancy wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal gown and she started describing the dress she was planning to wear. One of her friends asked what color shoes she had to go with the dress.

Nancy replied, "Silver."

At that point, her husband chimed in, "Yep silver...to match her hair."

Shooting a glaring look at John's bald spot, Nancy's friend said, "So John, I guess you must be going barefoot?"

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The power of music

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Topical

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 Those Funny Animals

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A mother firefly was taking her children for a walk near dusk, and they came to a dark woods. "All right, kids," she ordered, "line up, and whatever happens, don't shine your light. There are owls in the forest and they might fly down and eat you!" The small fireflies did as they were told, with the youngest firefly at the end of the line.
As they were moving carefully along, suddenly the mother saw a light far back. "Stop!" she whispered. "Who lit the light back there?"
"I did," admitted the youngster.
"You heard what I told you," scolded the mother. "Why did you disobey?"
"Well," said the little one, "when you gotta glow, you gotta glow!"

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Advert for Canadian Paralympics

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Bad day at the Farm

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Cool dance....Dad and Daughter

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POSTERS

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A chap is fishing and hooks a salmon, he reels it in and is just going to kill it for his dinner when the salmon looks at him and says

mate, don’t kill me, I’m only a baby, I haven’t swum the 7 seas yet, Give me a chance pal”.

The man looks at the salmon “Hey, you can talk”? “Course I can, go on put me back, there’s much bigger fish under the bridge”. “All right”, says the man, “I’ll put you back, what’s your name”? “Rusty” says the salmon, “And yours?” “My name’s Dave”.

He puts the fish back in the water and resolves to say nothing to anyone, for fear that he’ll become a laughing stock.

Ten years later he’s fishing in the same spot and he hooks a monster. It takes him two hours to land it. He looks at it and pictures it on his dinner plate. Just then the salmon opens one eye and looks at him “Dave, is that you”?

“Rusty, I don’t believe it, it must be 10 years since I let you go, what have you been doing”?

“Well Dave, I’ve had a fantastic time, I’ve swum the seven seas and all the oceans. In fact, I’ve just come across the Atlantic, but I was really disturbed”.

“Why’s that Rusty”?

“Well, I was half way across and a voice told me to swim deeper, so I did, deeper and deeper and I found this huge shipwreck. I counted four funnels, it felt like death so I had to leave”.

“Wow rusty, that was the Titanic it sank and almost all on board were drowned”.

“Ah, I knew it, in fact, I was so upset I had to sit down and write a poem about it” said Rusty.

“A poem, don’t talk daft, you’re just a fish, how can you write a poem, that’s rubbish”.

“No Dave, really, it’s available in all bookshops now”.

“Ok” says Dave, “so what’s it called then”?

“Salmon Rusty’s Titanic Verses”.

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The US vehicular driving manual states that the average driver's reaction time is 0.75 seconds, or 1 car-length for every 10 mph.

Test your own average reaction time.

Be very careful, though ... this can be very addictive!

Click on the link below, and then see if you can beat your own score on the 2nd go-'round!

Have fun & good luck!

Reaction Time Test

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the life of a plant

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Say no more!!!!

My wife arrived back from her driving test. "So," I asked excitedly, "how did you get on?"
"Not good," she replied. "He failed me."
"Oh, dear!" I said sympathetically. "It can't be that bad; what did he pull you up on?"
"A rope," she replied. "But the car is still in the river."

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think about it

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 Some Funny Signs

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when the saints come marching in

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          After a recent college basketball game, the coach spotted a phone lying on the floor.  He picked it up and handed it to one of the referees, saying, "Here -- this must be your cellphone."
       "What makes you think it's mine?" the referee asked him.
       "Easy," the coach replied.  "It says you missed thirteen calls today."

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we are moving today!!!

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life on Mars

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.