Sunday, September 2, 2007

Am posting a bit early today as its Fathers day and the family
will all be here soon and I may have a beer or two!!!

Yesterday was a big day at Subiaco oval with the Eagles
playing Essendon[Bombers]
Coach Kevin Sheedy and club ever green James Hird
were in their last games for the club
The Bombers almost stole the game [Eagles only winning by 8 points]
Emotional scenes after the game as the WA public and those Bombers supporters
in attendance gave the pair a rousing farewell

How to be the Perfect WIFE/GIRLFRIEND

Take notes girls

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined
to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you."
After much thought and consideration,
the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least
some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw
enough money to fill two pillowcases.
He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic
and leave them directly above his bed.
His plan was that when he passed away,
he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral,
the deceased lawyer's wife had gone up in the attic to clean.
Coming upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash she exclaimed,
"Oh, that darned old fool,
I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."

Whenever you are having a rough day,
try this stress management technique recommended
in all the latest psychological journals.
The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. You can feel both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "The World".
6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make
out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
See? It really does work. You're smiling already!

Say no more

Jose and Carlos
Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp.
Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot ofmoney to spend.
Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.
Carlos asks Jose how hecan bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.
Jose says, "Look at your sign."
It reads: "I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support."
Carlos looks at Jose's sign.
It reads: "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico."

Must be Hot in London this year

Court Orders Man to Complete eBay Deal
Aug 3, 2007SYDNEY, Australia (AP)
- An Australian court ordered a man to hand over a vintage plane
worth about $215,000 after he tried to back out of an eBay auction,
a newspaper reported Friday.
The New South Wales state Supreme Court ordered
Vin Thomas to complete the deal after he changed his mind about
selling the 1946 World War II Wirraway plane
he had placed on the Internet auction site last year,
the Sydney Morning Herald reported.
Peter Smythe, a Australian warplane enthusiast,
was the only person to bid on the item,
matching the $128,640 reserve price just moments before
the auction ended in August last year.
But Thomas had already agreed to sell the plane to someone else
for $85,800 more than Smythe's offer,
and backed out of the sale, the newspaper said.
Smythe took Thomas to court,
hoping a judge would force him to follow through with the deal.
Judge Nigel Rein agreed, saying the eBay auction formed
"a binding contract between the plaintiff and the defendant and
... should be specifically enforced."
32,000 Quarters Leak Onto Wis. Roads
Aug 3, 2007MADISON, Wis. (AP) -
Imagine the ringing noise of 32,000 quarters hitting the pavement.
An armored car company reported losing $8,000 in quarters
along highways in two Wisconsin counties last month.
About half has been returned.
"I guess somebody found that and figured it was an early Christmas,"
Jefferson County Detective Sgt. Lawrence Lee said.
Eight-hundred dollars of loose quarters was found late last month
in the Madison area and $3,200 in Jefferson County the next day.
Loomis Fargo officials told authorities that a truck headed
for Madison carrying boxes of quarters broke down in the Pewaukee area,
so they sent another one.
The load was transferred, but someone forgot to secure the door.
The driver was issued a citation for failure to prevent a leaking load.
A Loomis official declined comment Thursday.

I’m always a fan of the ‘twist at the end’ kind of story.
This short film is sort of like that, but on a simple scale which, in my opinion,
gives it more impact.
I thought for sure I knew the twist at the end , but I was very pleasantly surprised to find out I was wrong.
I hope you find this nicely done short film as entertaining as I did.
Can you figure out the twist before the end?

Those Golden But Moldy Oldies
They call them oldies for a reason.
What follows is a list of songs updated to reflect the
trials and tribulations of the geriatric set.
If you are a Baby Boomer or older,
you' ll want to snap your fingers (if your arthritis permits)
and tap your foot (if your gout permits).
But first, a word from our sponsor....
Now for your listening pleasure - turn up your hearing aids
-Disc One
Herman's Hermits -- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
The Bee Gees -- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?
Bobby Darin -- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Hot Flash
Ringo Starr -- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
Roberta Flack -- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
Johnny Nash -- I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon -- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores -- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
Marvin Gaye -- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts
Procol Harem -- A Whiter Shade of Hair
Leo Sayer -- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
Abba -- Denture Queen
Tony Orlando -- Knock 3 Times (on the Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall)
Helen Reddy -- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Leslie Gore -- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To
Willie Nelson -- On the Commode Again
I wouldn't have mixed one disc unless
I had the full intentions of making up some more hits to add to the list. Without further adieu, :Disc Two
Leslie Gore - It's My Potty (and I'll Try If I Want To)
Dave Clark 5 - Catscan Us If You Can
Bob Dylan - Like A Kidney Stone
The Tokens - The Loins Seep Tonight
Ray Charles - Take These IVs From My Arm
Glen Campbell - By The Time I Get To Pee
Hermans Hermits - There's a Kind of Mush (All Over My Shirt)
BJ Thomas - Slipped on a Peeling
Neil Sedaka - Breaking Up Pills Is Hard To Do
Lonnie Donegan - Does Your Dentures Lose Their Flavour In the Cup Overnight?
[pinched from ....It occurred to me...Thanks Mike]

Somebody to Love.....Queen

Well, either all my readers are dumb
or no one is reading this blog??
The answer to the Quiz
The countries highlighted in red are
the only countries left in the world who are not using the metric system

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Dad,
Thanks for the video on how to be a better wife. I now know what i've been doing wrong! LOL.