68
It has been a glorious, sunny spring weekend of weather here in the West
At long last we may have seen the end of the rain for awhile
Temperatures in the high 20's [celsius]
Almost time crank up the barbie and get the old beach towel out

Dancing Chimps

Saw this on Miss Cellania's site ...Just for you Fred Rea

Barry and Stuart...Walking on water

If you can't work out how this done let me know and Iwill tell you

If you do know .post a comment and tell me and we will see if you are correct

--------

A man arrives at Ben Gurion International Airport in Israel with twolarge bags.

A customs agent stops him, opens one bag and finds it full with money in different currencies.

The agent asks the passenger: "How did you get this money?"

The man says: "You will not believe it, but I traveled all over Europe

and went into all the public restrooms that I could.

Eachtime I saw a man pee, I grabbed his organ and said, "Donate money to Israel

or I will cut off your balls."

The customs agent is stunned and mumbles:

"Well...it's a very interesting story............. What do you have in the other bag?"

The man says: "You would not believe how many people in Europe do not support Israel.

-----

SHOPPING WITH THE WIFE

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and
Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm,"muses the Brit.

"They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're n a k e d, and so beautiful.
Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out,

"they have only an apple
to eat, and they're being told this is paradise.

They are Russian."




Paddy and his wife were in bed trying to get to sleep when the neighbours
dog began to bark.

After 15 minutes of constant barking, Paddy bounds out of bed.

"I'm going to go and see about that dog".
Not five minutes later Paddy is back in bed,

and the dog can still be heard barking.

His wife says, "Paddy your back, what did you Do?"

Paddy says,

"I put him in our yard.

Let them put up with it for a while."



It's election time in Australia soon , so this is very apt

Little Johnny will try anything

Blonde Pole dancing

[Thanks Fred Rea]

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree.

After hours of effort, he reached the top,

jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.

After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.

The turtle tried again and again,

while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.

"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

This guy goes to visit his doctor and says,

"Doctor, my arm hurts real bad.

Can you check it out, please?"

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk:

"Hello, Doctor," says the arm, "could you lend me twenty dollars? I'm desperate.

"The doctor says,

"Aha, I see the problem!

Your arm is broke."



CARTOON OF THE WEEK

10 Year old Blues

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears.

"Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.

At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.

When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid,

I'll have nothing left to live for"
[Thanks to Glynis Geen and Chris Bone who both sent this to me]

Animals around the world are losing their habitat due to climate change

By chosing a hybrid or fuel efficient car you can help prevent this

A lion was roaming an African jungle.

He was terribly hungry.

Soon, he came across two men sitting under a tree.

One was pounding away on a typewriter.

The other was reading a book.

The lion devoured the man reading the book.

He avoided the writer.

Even lions know...

...that readers digest and writers cramp.


Misc Cartoons

The Art of Dating
Chineses Piaomei

First date You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Again, Nothing Happens!

Third date You usually don't get up to third date beacuse you are smart enough to realize that nothing is ever going to happen

INDIAN MINACHI

First date Meet her parents.

Second date Set the date of the wedding.

Third date Wedding night

MALAY MINYAH

First date You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third Date She moves in. One week later, her father,

her 4 mothers, her 18 sisters, her 20 brothers, all of their kids,

her 16 grandmas, her father's girlfriend's mother,

her 268 cousins all move in.

But don't worry you can repeat this 4 times. ;-)

WHITE MARY

First Date You both get drunk and have sex.

Second Date You both get drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary You both get drunk and have sex.

ARAB AL-KATIJAH

First Date Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends

and entire arab community finds out.

Second Date You are shot dead.

Third date Not Applicable

[Thanks Pushpa]

Today's music is two videos from Abba

One of the most suceesful groups worldwide in their prime

They are third in the world with record sales of over 370 million

Only Elvis Presley and The Beatles have had more sales

ABBA...I have a dream

Just love the part towards the end when the sing with all those kids

This second video Ihave posted before

Here is the Karaoke version, so you can sit in front of your computer and sing along with them

Go on you can do it

ABBA.......Chiquitita