The Love Toilet
AmazingJuggler...crank up your sound with this one...great music
Adam was talking to his friend at a bar.
He said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday.
She has everything, and besides,
she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck."
His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate
saying that she can have 60 minutes of great sex, anyway she wants it.
She'll probably be thrilled."
So Adam decided to listen to his friend's advice.
The next day at the bar, his friend said,
"Well? Did you take my suggestion?"
"Yes, I did," Adam replied.
"Did she like it?"
"Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead,
and ran out the door, yelling,
"I'll be back in an hour!"
A Grandfather's Wisdom
My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up,
and for me it is a time to reminisce.
The long walks we used to take.
The long drives, the special trips he would make to pick me up
so I could spend weekends with him, and the advice he used to give.
The jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice came when I was only 12.
We were sitting in a park, watching children
and their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day.
He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family.
"And son," he said, "be sure you marry a woman with small hands."
"How come, Grandpa?" I asked.
"It makes your pecker look bigger."
Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
A farmer had a horse that could understand nearly anything.
The storyof the horse spread,
and soon scientists showed up to study it.
Sure enough, the horse learned everything that was presented to it,
with one exception:
The scientists were puzzled, but the old farmer knew the problem.
They were putting Descartes before the horse!
and this putting the horse before the car
Anybody know who this person is???
New Zealand company offers lifetime of beer for stolen laptop
2 days ago
WELLINGTON (AFP) —
A boutique brewery in New Zealand was reported Thursday
to be offering a lifetime supply of beer in return for a stolen laptop.
The computer, containing designs, creative work, contact details
and financial information, was stolen from the Croucher Brewing Company
in the central North Island city of Rotorua.
Owners Paul Croucher and Nigel Gregory are so desperate to get it back,
they are offering free beer to whoever turns in the person responsible for the burglary, Rotorua's Daily Post newspaper said.
Croucher said the laptop contained important information
and while the company had back-up copies of its work they
were not as up-to-date as the stolen data.
A "lifetime supply" equal to about 12 beers each month was offered
to anyone who could name the thief. Croucher said.
This sign was seen in a paddock in Kiwi land
If you have friends in NZ and don't know what to buy them for Xmas
Here's a suggestion
Two gay men decide to have a baby.
They mix their sperm, and then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated.
When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.
A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming.
Over in the corner, one is smiling serenely.
A nurse comes by and to the gays' delight she points out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" one fruitcake says to the other.
"All these unhappy children and ours is so happy."
The nurse says, "Oh sure, he's happy now.
But just watch what happens when we take the pacifier out of his ass."
Confusing set of traffic lights in England
Also in England
[roundabout country of the world]
An American and a Russian are talking about their governments.
"Ours is a free country," says the American.
"Once, I was in Langley, VA, and couldn't find a public restroom,
so I urinated near the CIA headquarters."
"Ours is a free country, too," says the Russian.
"Once, I was on Lubyanka square in Moscow, and couldn't find a public restroom,
so I took a sxxt near the KGB headquarters."
"And you got away with it?" asked the incredulous American.
"Of Course! Nobody saw it...
I didn't even take my pants off."
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well.
As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts",
and the patients complied by standing up.
After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts",
and they all sat back down in their seats.
After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". T
hey all broke out into applause and cheered.
When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team,
the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts"
and they all started booing and cat calling.
Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog,
leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned, there was a riot in progress.
Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked,
"What in the world happened?"
The assistant replied,
"Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled,
The Hottest 35 Men In The World These pictures are just for the girls
Click on the link to view some of the hottest bodies around
Here's one for the women - the hottest 35 men in the world.
continuing with the blasts from the past, we have three music videos today
the first is a song written by Paul McCartney
Is this an Austen Powers look alike?
Peter and Gordon.........A World without love
There unfortunately are not bands like this around anymore
If the drummer looks familiar ..Tony Newman later played with David Bowie
Sounds Incorporated....Rinky Dink and William Tell Overture
This band had a big hit with Tobacco Road
But I used to hammer this song back in the sixties
and when I saw it on You Tube cI couldn't help but post it
Nashville Teens....Google Eye