It has been a real scorcher here in Perth today with the temperature
reaching 36 C [approx 98F] and 39C forecast for tomorrow [Monday]
Spent today out in the sunshine for my Rotary club at the Belmont Fair.
So if you coming knocking on my door in the next day or two
you may be greeted with this sign???
Something to make you smile
Last chance to vote
A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.
He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk,
even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn,
screaming infrustration as she missed her chance to get through
the intersection,dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window
and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where shewas searched,
finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake.
You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn,
flipping off the guy in front of you,and cussing a blue streak at him.
I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do'bumper sticker,
the 'Choose Life' license plate holder,
the 'Follow Me toSunday-School' bumper sticker,
and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.
Naturally.....I assumed you had stolen the car."
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity BibleCollege and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on thebehalf of the innocent."
They throw the switch and nothing happens.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
The last one (you knew it), a blonde, is strapped in and says,
C'mon. A blonde electrical engineer?
CARTOON OF THE WEEK
Coke vs Pepsi
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.
This was his first time approaching a field during the night time,
The controller switched the field lights off and replied,
A Chinese family (Chu, Bu, Fu and Su) recently immigrated in the USA.
Warning...Its your health [this is fair dinkum]
A drunk man is sitting on the sidewalk next to a bar.
- Hey! Do you know who I am ?
- No I don’t. Who are you ?
- I’m Jesus Christ, and I can proove it.
They both enter the bar.
- Jesus, you again ?
A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, It's a deadgiveaway!)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your countvotes.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Looks to good too be true
More cool Aviation pictures
Here are 15 of the harshest things a woman can say to a naked man.
1. Ahhhh, it's cute.
2. Why don't we just cuddle?
3. Make it dance.
4. Wow, and your feet are so big.
5. It's okay, we'll work around it.
6. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
7. This explains your car.
8. But it still works, right?
9. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
10. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
11. Are you cold?
12. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
13. Does it come with an air pump?
14. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
15. I guess this makes me the early bird.
This sure looks like one of Jim Kings dumped vehicles
Here's Andre again playing with the Dubliners
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
[thanks again to Robert Doohan from Kalgoorlie]
Good morning to you all,
This is a call for anyone who may have witnessed the following:
Yesterday, at about 14:00 all of my wheels were stolen and replaced with bricks
during the period that I was out of the office having a coffee (from 10:00 to 16:00).
I am well behind in my work and now I have to waste my time with these stupidities
and on top of it all I am probably going to be fired from my job!!!
If anyone of you, my dear friends, has seen anything, please let me know. I could
even go as far as offering a reward to whoever helps me.
PS. Here is a photo taken at the scene of the crime (theft with irritating
Once again, thanks and good morning to you all.