This Saturday November 24th is Federal election day here in Australia
We have put up with all the rhetoric in the past six weeks
and no matter who wins this weekend, we will get another six weeks of
Why we won
Why we lost
Ithink I will move to Iceland
On a crisp November morning John Howard and Kevin Rudd
somehow ended up at the same barber shop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber,
not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves,
the one who had Kevin Rudd in his chair reached for the after shave......
Rudd was quick to stop him saying
"No way....My wife will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse."
The second barber turned to John Howard and said
"How about you, Mr. Prime Minister"
"Go ahead....My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like"
As I said, Ithink Iwill move to Iceland
A short tour guide of England
Warning...contains mild offfensive language
Question from a recent UK survey:
Are there too many foreigners in this country now?
Answer: 20%: YES
10% : DON'T KNOW
70% :معهد الأمن العالمي بواشنط
[Thanks Jim King]
Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.
The first man signed to his friend,
"My wife was asleep when I got home,
so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."
The second deaf man signed back,
"Boy you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed,
and she started swearing at me and giving me hell for being out so late."
The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?"
The second man replied, "I just turned out the light!"
Me!! Ijust love chocolate cake
FRENCH TERROR ALERT RAISED
The Prime Minister of France has officially raised the French terror alert
from "Run" to "Hide".
There are only two higher alert levels in France,
which are "Surrender" and "Collaborate".
The terror alert raise was precipitated by a recent fire
which destroyed France's white flag factory
- effectively crippling their military.
For more Breaking news
By Clicking this link
You may see one of the most frightening messages
And it could leave you in a state of anxiety.
[Thanks Esther Roadnight from Kalgoorlie]
How to tell who Mums favourite is!!
CYBER BIRDS AND BEES
Little boy goes to his father and asks: "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room,
where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload,
we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button,
nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:
You've Got Male!"
The following was sent in by Ron Wilson
[its not whatyou thought]
A sign of the times
Some interesting facts about Australia that I found
* For each person in Australia there are two sheep and over 16 rabbits.
A DIFFERENT CREATION STORY
Uh ..Oh...what now!!
Another classic from the late legendary Del Shannon