I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk
To put you in a nice frame of mind for the weekend here are two amusing videos
This first one many of you may have seen already, as its been around for sometime
But it is still funny
The Freakin Brothers
Next is a humourous Greenpeace promo
Sunshine - video powered by Metacafe
International Farming Analysis
TRADITIONAL AUSTRALIAN FARMING:
* You have two sheep.* You sell one and buy a ram. * Your flock multiplies,
and the economy grows. You buy out your neighbours.
* You sell the lot and retire on the income.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: * You have two sheep. * You sell one, and force the other to produce the wool of four sheep.* You are surprised when the sheep drops dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION: * You have two sheep.* You go on strike because you want three sheep.
JAPANESE CORPORATION:* You have two sheep.* You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary sheep and produce 20 times the wool. * You then create clever sheep cartoon images called Sheepkimon and market them worldwide.
GERMAN CORPORATION:* You have two sheep.* You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and shear themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:* You have two sheep.* Both die from foot and mouth.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:* You have two sheep, but you don't know where they are. * You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:* You have two sheep.* You count them and learn you have five sheep.* You count them again and learn you have 42 sheep. * You count them again and learn you have 12 sheep.* You stop counting sheep and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:* You have 5,000 sheep, none of which belong to you. * You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:* You have two sheep.* You have 300 people shearing them.* You claim full employment, high productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:* You have two sheep.* That one on the below is kinda cute...
Former leader of France Jacques Chirac used to think he was one of the the funniest man in Europe after launching his tirade against the state of British cuisine.
But the truth is that some of the funniest jokes are about the French...
Q: Why do French men have moustaches?
A: To remind them of their mothers.
Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German army as they entered the city in World War II?
A: "Table for 100,000 M'sieur?"
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. Chirac. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
Q: How do you say: "Give me liberty or give me death" in French?
A: I give up.
Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.
Q: What do you get when a grenade is thrown into a French kitchen?
A: Linoleum Blownapart.
Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms?
A: To see all their other ships.
Q: Where is the best place to hide your money?
A: Under a Frenchman's soap.
80 year old marries for 4th time
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered.
'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'
Sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was a quarter inch shorter than his right.
"So," I said, "You didn't believe me when I told you a doctor could fix your leg."
He just looked at me and said,
A NEW ZEALAND DRIVER STRIKES BACK
My First vote for Man of the Year
A different slant
Baby Orangutan and Friend
Going to really show my age today
Cherokees....Minnie the Moocher