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This weekends normal Sunday Blog is a day early as
tomorrow morning, am off up country working for two days
and won't be back until Monday arvo.
So here it is

Blue Christmas..........Elvis Presley

LYRICS:

I'll have a blue christmas without you

I'll be so blue just thinking about you

Decorations of red on a green christmas tree

Wont be the same dear,

if you're not here with me

And when those blue snowflakes start falling

That's when those blue memories start calling

You'll be doin' all right, with your christmas of white

But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue christmas

You'll be doin' all right, with your christmas of white,

But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue christmas

Santa stuck in a chimney


Don't let this happen to you during the coming weeks

As we start the round of office and company Xmas party's

you may come accross this sign

Following on from the post about about Senior citizens, I was sent this by a senior who wishes to remain anonymous..Promised Frank I wouldn't tell anyone
We Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable

deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary.

We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.

BUT, upon reflection, we would like to point out that

it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,

The pride out of appearance,

The romance out of love,

The commitment out of marriage,

The responsibility out of parenthood,

The togetherness out of the family,

The learning out of education,

The service out of patriotism,

The religion out of school,

The Golden Rule from rulers,

The nativity scene out of cities,

The civility out of behaviour,

The refinement out of language,

The dedication out of employment,

The prudence out of spending,

or The ambition out of achievement,

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience

and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

Remember.......Inside every older person is a younger person

wondering what the heck happened!

Uh Oh Pothole

Careful .... Don't look down

Also following on from my post sometime back about the French Terrorists alerts

I received this
ALERT LEVELS

"As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise

in its terror alert from "Run" to "Hide".

The normal level is "General Arrogance",

and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate".

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory,

effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

"This prompted some readers to comment that list membership

was perhaps biased against France (and what's wrong with that?),

and so, in order to promote a more balanced view, here is the latest from around the world:

It's not only the French that are on heightened level of alert:

Italy has increased the alert level from

"Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing".

Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from

"Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs".

They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings

and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved".

Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to

"Irritated" or even "A bit cross".

Londoners have not been "A bit cross" since the Blitz in 1940

when tea supplies all ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance".

The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"

warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.

Enjoy I've been everywhere with Patty, Dan and Lucy


Todays Cartoons

I purchased a Teddy Bear this morning

for the princely sum of $10.

I named him Mohammed.

This afternoon I sold him on E-Bay for $30.

My question is,

"Have I made a prophet?"

[thanks Chris Bone]

---

Then there was the Eskimo girl

who spent the night with herboy friend

and the next morning found

she was six months pregnant.

[thanks Robert Doohan]

Men were born this way Learn to deal with it

the following images were sent to me by Joan Andony..thanks Joan

And from my daughter Rennae , come these thoughts
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.

Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes,

it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

Scientists have announced that we have made contact with an alien race.

Their planet consists solely of a gigantic shopping center.

The skeptical scientists didn't believe it at first.

How could this be?

But after tremendous research,

they have confirmed...
...that it's a mall world after all.

A bonus pun

A note left for a pianist from his wife:

Gone Chopin,

(have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.


CLINTON MEMORIES

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as former President Clinton

appeared on the television.

After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled,

"Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen."

A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up,

walked over to him, and decked him.

A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer,

Hillary Clinton appeared on the television.

"She's a horse's ass too," the man said..

This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up,

walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool.

"Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar.

"This must be Clinton country!"

"Nope," the bartender replied.

"Horse country!"


CARTOON OF THE WEEK

A Fantasy School Answering Machine

"Hello! You've reached the automated answering service of your school.

In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member,

please listen to all your options before making a selection:

"To lie about why your child is absent -- Press 1.

"To make excuses for why your child did not do his work -- Press 2.

"To complain about what we do -- Press 3.

"To swear at staff members -- Press 4.

"To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in

your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you -- Press 5.

"If you want us to raise your child -- Press 6.

"If you want to reach out and touch, slap, or hit someone -- Press 7.

"To request another teacher for the third time this year -- Press 8.

"To complain about bus transportation -- Press 9.

"To complain about school lunches -- Press 0.

"If you realize this is the real world and your child must be

accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work,

and homework and that it's not the teacher's fault for your child's lack of effort

-- Hang up and have a nice day!"

Save the world with a few coins

Good Dog

"Honey," said this husband to his wife,

"I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping,

all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor bastard's thinkin' about getting married."

-------

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man,

standing alone.

She approached him and said,

"Hi, my name is Carmen."

"That's a beautiful name," he replied.

"Is it a family name?"

"No," she said.

"I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.

What's your name?"

He said, "Bob Titsenbeer."

-------

For todays Music clips Iam going to try something completely different

and would be interested in your feedback,

either by posting a comment or sending me an email

The first video from Tom Waits kinda grows on you if you listen

and watch more than once

Have included the Lyrics for you

Tom Waits from 1977... Tom Traubert Blues

A wound that will never heal -

Wasted and wounded,

it ain't what the moon did

Got what I paid for now

See ya tomorrow,

hey Frank can I borrow

A couple of bucks from you?

To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda

You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me
I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley

And tired of all these soldiers here

No one speaks English and everything's broken

And my Stacys are soaking wet

To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda

You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me
Now the dogs are barking and the taxi cab's parking

A lot they can do for me

I begged you to stab me,

you tore my shirt open

And I'm down on my knees tonight

Old Bushmill's I staggered,

you buried the dagger

Your silhouette window light

To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda

You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me
Now I lost my Saint Christopher

now that I've kissed her

And the one-armed bandit knows

And the maverick Chinaman

and the cold-blooded signs

And the girls down by the strip-tease shows

Go, waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda

You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me
No, I don't want your sympathy

The fugitives say that the streets aren't for dreaming now

Manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories

They want a piece of the action anyhow

Go, waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda

You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me
And you can ask any sailor

and the keys from the jailor

And the old men in wheelchairs know

That Matilda's the defendant,

she killed about a hundred

And she follows wherever you may go

Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda

You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me
And it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace

And a wound that will never heal

No prima donna, the perfume is on her

An old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey

And goodnight to the street sweepers

The night watchman flame keepers

and goodnight to Matilda too

This next clip features Cab Callloway and the Nicholas Brothers

Remember this is long before rap music and the Blue Brothers movie

Watch this all the way thru as I reckon the Nicholas Brothers must be double jointed

Great clip

Cab Calloway and the Nicholas Brothers.......Jumpin Jive

thanks Josie Jamieson

Cool Jeep commercial

Thanks Fred Rea

Click on pointer