Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Have taken today off to conduct a bit of business and collect a few debts
So have taken the chance to get the mid week blog up and running

Happy Birthday Elvis!
Elvis Aaron Presley (January 8, 1935–August 16, 1977), was an
American singer, musician and actor.
He is a cultural icon, often known as "The King of Rock 'n' Roll", or simply "The King".

1Presley began his career as one of the first performers of rockabilly, an uptempo fusion of country and rhythm and blues with a strong back beat.
His novel versions of existing songs, mixing "black" and "white" sounds, made him popular
—and controversial—
as did his uninhibited stage and television performances.
He recorded songs in the rock and roll genre, with tracks like
"Hound Dog" and "Jailhouse Rock" later embodying the style.
Presley had a versatile voice and had unusually wide success encompassing other genres, including gospel, blues, ballads and pop.
To date, he is the only performer to have been inducted into four music halls of fame.
In the 1960s, Presley made the majority of his thirty-three movies
—mainly poorly reviewed musicals.
In 1968, he returned to live music in a television special and
thereafter performed across the U.S., notably in Las Vegas.
Throughout his career, he set records for concert attendance,
television ratings and recordings sales.
He is one of the best-selling and most influential artists in the history of popular music.
Health problems plagued Presley in later life which,
coupled with a punishing tour schedule and addiction to prescription medication,
led to his premature death at age 42.
The Muppets and the King
[the above was pinched from "Bits and Pieces" ...thanks Jonco]

With Hillary Clinton in the news so much ,we might as well post a Hillary Clinton joke

Senator Hillary Clinton and former Attorney General Janet Reno
were having one of those girl-to-girl talks, and Hillary said to Janet,
"You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men seeking sex with you.
I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he was last."
Janet responded, "Just because I am aesthetically challenged does not mean
I don't have to fight off occasional unwelcome advances."
Hillary asks, "Well, how do you deal with the problem?"
Janet: "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me,
I muster all my might, tense, and squeeze to break wind as loud and hard as I can."
That night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary slips into bed.
She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action.
She had been saving gas all day long and was ready for him.
She tenses up and forces out the most disgusting sound you could imagine.
Bill rolled over and said, "Janet, is that you?"

During a whistle-stop campaign,
the presidential candidate's train hopped the tracks.
It ran roughshod through a farmer's field.
Several animals were killed.
The politician agreed to reimburse him.
This is the first and only time a politician
took responsibility for all the bulls hit.

Unpigmented penguin something special for Antarctic scientists
Posted Wed Jan 2, 2008 8:20pm AEDT

Updated Thu Jan 3, 2008 11:42am AEDT

A rare unpigmented adelie penguin seen by the Mawson Hut Foundation team

(Mawsons Hut Foundation: Brett Jarrett)
The sighting of a rare penguin has excited researchers near Mawson Huts in Antarctica.
An adult, unpigmented Adelie penguin was photographed near Granholm Hut on Sunday.
Penguins lacking pigmentation are referred to as "leucistic" and do not usually survive until adulthood because they attract predators and don't breed.
Australian Antarctic Division biologist, Rhonda Pike, says only one penguin with the genetic defect has been detected over a number of breeding seasons in a population of 4,000 Adelies.
"We have a population of tagged birds out there and we've never tagged any of the leucistic birds," said Ms Pike.
"So we don't know if it's the same one coming back year after year, , one out of 4,000."

But don't tell the Norwegians [they might want to shoot it]

A white moose was sighted in the forest of Østfold, Norway.
Naturally, some Norwegians want to shoot it:
"It is surely entertaining to have an albino moose wandering in the woods

but in purely breeding terms it is not right to let it live,"
Morten Brommdal, manager of the animal section at the Institute for Molecular Bioscience at the University of Oslo told Moss Avis.
"That so many people want the white moose to live is an emotional issue.

It is exciting to have such a rarity rustling around.
But if it is spared we risk the moose’s breeding qualities spreading.
Soon we might two, three, four or five albino moose in these wooded areas,
something which in the long run can weaken the herd," said Brommdal,
who pointed out that an albino moose is really a kind of ‘mistake’

A deer hunter was out enjoying a nice day out in the woods
when he decided to take a leak.
He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun.
Just then a gust of wind blew,
the gun fell over and discharged shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor, who said,
"Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news."
"The good news is that you are going to be OK.
The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage
and we were able to remove all of the buck shot."
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive damage done to your manly part
I'm going to have to refer you to my brother."
"Oh, well I guess that isn't too bad," the man replied
"is your brother a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly. he's a flute player in the local symphony.
He's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye"

Links for fun
Air Force test
From Shelleys Snippets
If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal. It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.
Give it a try but be is addictive!!
Air Force Test
What you have to do is click on to the red square in the centre and move it out of the way of the moving black squares and rectangles without touching the side walls. Like evading attacking aircraft.
I lasted a little over 8 seconds after about 12 tries.

Beer - A Real Eye Opener (Flash)
Beer - makes her body good. Warning - the effect may be temporary!
when it loads,drag the pointer accross your screen

Turn your backyard in to a lake

If you can watch this and not be inspired by it,
then you may as well spend the rest of your days in the cupboard
Watch it a couple of times

Today's Cartoons

The relations counsellor was giving a husbands-only seminar.
Before he started, he asked for a show of hands:
how many people in the group had intimate relations with their wives every day?
A few hands went up.
A few times a week?
Once a month?
By this point only one man had not yet raised his hand:
but he had the broadest smile of anyone in the room.
Once a year?
And the man, still grinning from ear to ear, finally raised his hand.
The counsellor, quite puzzled, asked:
"So what makes you so happy?"
"Tonight's the night!"

Ok, Ok,

Taking a break

One weekend, there was a costume party at a mental hospital,
and the theme of the party was "war".
The first patient comes up onto the stage and says,
"I am an atomic bomb."
He gets his applause and steps down.
The second person comes up and says,
"I am a hydrogen bomb."
Again, there is a round of applause and he steps down.
And then a naked little man comes up to the stage and says,
"I'm dynamite."
Everybody in the audience runs away hysterically.
When one of the mental patients was asked why they all ran away, he replied,
"Didn't you see how short his fuse was?"
[stolen from Miss Cellania]

Say... Cheese!

Brilliant Lines
1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9) I'm already visualizing the masking tape over your mouth.
10)Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
13) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
14) No, my powers can only be used for good.
15) How about never? Is never good for you?
16) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
17) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
18) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
19) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
20) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
21) Who me? I just wander from room to room.
22) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
23) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
24) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
25) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
26) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
27) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
28)I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
29)Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
30)My reality check bounced.
31)On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

And I think to myself
What a wonderful World

The Spotted lake
the spotted lake (kliluk), situated in Osoyoos, Canada, contains one of the
highest concentrations of minerals in the world (mainly epsom salts, calcium and sodium sulphates).
The lake’s healing waters were used by native indians to alleviate aches and pains
and during the first world war the salts were skimmed from the surface in huge amounts
to be transported to eastern american munitions factories -
sometimes as much as a ton per day.
The pattern you see below appears during hot sunny days as the water evaporates and the minerals crystallize to form hundreds of incredible yellow pools.

A husband and wife were on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack.
"Help," she groaned to her husband.
He dialed 911 on his cellphone,
talked a little and then picked up his putter and started lining up his putt.
She raised her head off the grass and moaned,
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
He replied, "Don't worry, dear.
The club located a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Did they say how long it will take him?", she asked.
"Not too long," said her husband, practicing his putting stroke.
"Everybody's agreed he can play through!"


Some music vids for your enjoyment

Mac Davis.. Its Hard to be Humble

Gotta love Mac Davis
The next Clip is Ray Charles appearing on the Hee Haw TV Show

Ray Charles....Take these Chains from my Heart

And a great classic for you to sing a long to
Go on...Belt ot out

The Drifters...Under the Board Walk

Any Volunteers???

Take the Eye Test before you leave


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