96
Time for another blog
Perth's weather has decided to warm up again after a few pleasant days
With Australia Day [26th], now than less than ten days away, lets hope we get a cool one
Though as a rule in previous years it tends to be fairly warm that day

As per normal we start with some funny videos

Here is Peter Sellers appearing on the Dean Martin Show

If you ever come accross Bill Malone, don't play cards with him





With Afghanistan in the news the past day or so
you had better read this
You might be Taliban if
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
You have more wives than teeth.
You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You’ve ever opened a can of falafel with a mortar round.
You’ve ever had your camel repossessed.
You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.
You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.
You’ ve ever been asked, “Does this burka make my butt look too big?”
You’ve felt the urge to “rub her out” after seeing a woman’s exposed ankle.
You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You’ve ever uttered the phrase, “I love what you’ve done with your cave.”
You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon “unclean”.



Mr Goldberg, from Pinsk, coming to America,
shared a table in the ship's dining-room with a Frenchman.
Mr Goldberg could speak neither French nor English;
the Frenchman could speak neither Russian nor Yiddish.
The first day out, the Frenchman approached the table, bowed and said, "Bon appetit!''
Mr Goldberg, puzzled for a moment, bowed back and replied "Goldberg.''
Every day at every meal the same routine occurred.
On the fifth day, another passenger took Goldberg aside.
"Listen, the Frenchman isn't telling you his name.
He's saying `Good Appetite,' that's what `Bon appetit!' means.''
At the next meal, Mr Goldberg, beaming,
bowed to the Frenchman and said, "Bon appetit!''.
And the Frenchman, beaming, replied: "Goldberg!''



Todays Cartoons

This is scary A plane landing in thick fog at Heathrow

A salesman is pressing a farmer about the finer points of his new combine

when he suddenly notices one of the roosters in the farmer's yard.
The rooster is wearing a shirt, and pants with suspenders.

It's all he can do to not gasp.
"What the hell is that all about?" he asks the farmer.
"A year or two ago, we had a fire in the chicken coop," the farmer explains.

"That rooster stayed in there until all the hens could get out,

and he ended up with all his feathers burned off.

Well, the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm."
"That's amazing," the salesman said.

"But you have to admit, it looks kinda funny."
"That ain't nothin'," the farmer says.

"You should see him try to hold down a hen with one foot

and get his pants down with the other."



Saw this interesting photo on "Bits and Pieces"

US-Mexico border Thats the US on the left and Tijuana on the right



A woman goes into to see the psychiatrist about her low self-esteem.

She is unhealthy, pale, and obese.

After tearfully explaining her predicament,

the doc says, "hmm, yes, could you please lie on the floor under the window?"

"Now over next to the door."

"Now under the bookshelves."

"Thank you."

He then occupies himself with writing.

The patient, exasperated, interrupts him and asks if he has anything he can offer her.

"No, he says, you need to see your internist about your poor health."

"Then what was all that stuff you had me do, lying on the floor?"

"Oh, I'm having a new white sofa delivered next week

and was wondering where to put it."

A woman went to the doctor asking for larger breasts.

The doctor gave her the choice of either having implants or wearing a magic bra.

"When you flap your arms up and down, the bra inflates," the doctor explained.

Of course, the women chose the bra.
The next day she was out at a bar with girlfriends

and noticed an attractive man sitting at the end of the bar.

Flapping her arms, she strolled over to flirt with the man

and he started flapping his legs.
"I see we have the same doctor," the man said.

NO OVERTAKING

THIS IS LOADS OF FUN!
Bet you can't get 100 on the first try.
This is pretty neat!
See how you do with the colors!
Have fun!
It takes an average of 5 tries to get to 100%.
Follow the directions!
It's harder than it seems, as it should be!
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf


Aliens.....a glimpse into the future

RISKY LOGIC

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way.

Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old,

goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed

to make her look years younger.

After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products,

she asks her husband -

"Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?"

Looking over her carefully,

Andy replied,... "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen;

and your figure, twenty five."

"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.

Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward,

he stops her by saying...

"WHOA, hold on there sweety!"

Andy interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet!"

This pretty cool

Sand Animation artist ..... Ilana Yahav

Love 2008

[Thanks to Jennie Simmons for sending this]




Moses

Heard this on a local radio station this morning

And looked it up on You Tube

Absolute Classic
The Springfields ....Island of Dreams

Thats Tom on the left, Dusty and Mike Hurst

MODERNISED PROVERBS

1. Don't change horses..........................until they stop running.

2. Strike while the........................................bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before.....................Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of ........ termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but ......... how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ........................ looks dirty.

7. No news is...........................................impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a ............................... Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new ............... maths.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ........ stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust ....................................... me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ................... pigs.

13. An idle mind is.................the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's ................. pollution.

15. Happy the bride who.........................gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ................................... not much.

17. Two's company, three's ........................ the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......... you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ........you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as .................... Stevie Wonder.

21. If at first you don't succeed ..................... get new batteries.

22. You get out of something only what you ........ see in the picture on the box.

23. When the blind lead the blind .................. get out of the way.

24. Better late than......................................pregnant.




And I think to myself

What a Wonderful World

Afew of you verbally commented on the Muppets clips

So here are two more

Bear in mind they are probably 25-30 years since they were originally performed

Never the less they are great to watch


Johnny Cash ..Orange Blossom Special and Jackson



Linda Ronstaadt .......When I grow too old to dream

Don't think Ihave ever heard her sing as good as this