Thursday, January 24, 2008


Come Saturday January 26th ,Australia is celebrating its 220th birthday
Although its been around a lot longer than that
This post will have a distinctive Aussie Flavour

Hope you enjoy it



Western Australia[ thebest bit]

click to enlage

Western Australia is the largest state in Australia ?
It is larger than Alaska and Texas combined.
Perth is Australia’s windiest city with an average wind speed of 15.6 kph ?
Karri tree in Western Australia is the world’s third-tallest tree after the Californian Redwood and the Australian Mountain Ash ?
It can grow up to 80m tall.
The world famous
Pinnacles landscape formation in Western Australia
are actually remains of tree roots, covered by sand then encased in limestone dissolved from the sand by rainwater ?
The world’s largest monolith is actually Mt. Augustus in Western Australia

and not Uluru ?
Mt. Augustus is twice the size of Uluru,
but has bushes covering its lower part.
As such, Uluru is the largest “free-standing” monolith.
The Kimberley area in Western Australia produces 35% of the world’s diamonds ?

Western Australia has some spectacular scenery
and one of my favourite spots is on the south coast


Some Aussie funnies

An Aussie salesman drove into a small town in the far south of New Zealand,
where a small circus was playing
.A sign read: "Don't Miss the Amazing Maori."
The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, under the Big Top, in the centre ring, was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it was a middle aged Maori.
Suddenly, the Maori dropped his pants,
whipped out his huge male member and smashed all the walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupted in applause and the Maori was carried off on their shoulders.
Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town,
found the same circus,
and saw the same faded sign that read, "Don't Miss the Amazing Maori."
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!
He bought a ticket.
Again, the centre ring was illuminated.
This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.
The old Maori stood before them,
then suddenly dropped his pants and smashed the coconuts
with three swings of his amazing member.
The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
"You're incredible!" he told the Maori,
"but I have to know something.
I saw your act 15 years ago, and you were using walnuts.
Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?"
"Well," said the Maori, "my eye sight isn't what it used to be."

Reasons to eat Lamb with Sam Kekovich

Two kangaroo shooters, way out the back of Bourke.
Their ute breaks down.
They do the right thing – stay with it.
But no one comes along.
So they decide to walk out.
The temperature is 40 plus C.
After 2 days, they’re on their last drop of radiator water
when they climb a rise and find, nailed to a tree,
a sign saying
In the distance, a collection of ramshackle tin huts.
They arrive.
One hut is identified as a café.
They enter.
A lady appears, very proper.
“Yis”, she says.
“Bring us a drink, luv. Make it long and quick.”
“We only serve one thing here.”
“What’s that?”“Koala tea.”
“Well, bring it luv, only make it quick!”
She brings it, and she is not kidding.
Pathetic little paws grip the edge of the billy
and little furry ears poke through the murky surface.
Well, kangaroo shooters are pretty tough but they’re not this tough.
They look at each other and beg the woman to “take it away please, and strain it.”
“What?” she says,
“The Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained.

Ute = utility vehicle or pickup truck]

[Billy = an outback teapot]

Australia Down Under

Men at Work...... I come from a land down under

Travelling in a fried- out Kombie,

on a hippy trail, head full of zombie.

I met a strange lady,

she made me nervous

she took me in and gave me breakfast.

And she said -Do you come from a land down under,

where woman glow and men plunder?

Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?

You better run, you better take cover.

Buying bread from a man in Brussels,

he was six foot four and full of muscles.

I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"

He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich

.And he said -I come from a land down under,

where beer does flow and men chunder

.Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?

You better run, you better take cover.

Lying in a den in Bombay,

with a slack jaw, and not much to say.

I said to the man, "Are you tryin' to tempt me?"

Because I come from the land of plenty.

And he said -Do you come from a land down under,

where women glow and men plunder?

Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?

You better run, you better take cover

Travelling on the Oodnadatta Track
which runs from Marla Bore on the Stuart Highway to Maree
Thats Lake Eyre South in the foreground

Aussie champion motor Bike rider ..Robbie Maddison

Built for Aussie conditions

An Australian physician has claimed that the following are actual comments

made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies.

To understand them all you may need to know that

Harold Holt was an Australian Prime Minister who disappeared whilst he was surfing

and whose body has never been found.

Tasmania has something of a reputation for sexual perversion -- principally incest.

James Hardie is a company that used to make asbestos sheeting products

for home building until lawsuits claiming health problems from the asbestos

drove them out of that business.

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Harold Holt yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know in Tasmania we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at James Hardie, didn'tyou?"

12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there

Blue eyed Koala

"With his piercing blue eyes, tiny Frankie is one of a kind -
the world's only blue-eyed koala.
His striking peepers have dumbfounded animal carers at his Dreamworld home
on the Gold Coast.
Initially worried, staff ran tests but found that apart from some reduced pigmentation,
Frankie, dubbed after ol' blue eyes Frank Sinatra, had perfect vision.
Dreamworld supervisor Michelle Barnes said she doubted her own vision
when she first saw Frankie's eyes.
While Frankie, now nine months old, was the centre of media attention yesterday,
the general public will have to wait a couple of months before he is ready
to face the public for the first time."

Some time back the Australian Government in conjunction
with the Australian Tourist Bureau ran this very successful TV campaign

Not to be outdone.... The Kiwi's came up with their version

Thorny lizard in one of the deserts near Alice

Wilma the Wallaby

A site to die for
Cemetry on Bondi Cliff walk [Sydney]


Sign on the Nullabor plain [inset of others]

Qantas advert that was very popular

The "Chasers War on Everything"
With their response

Hugh Jackman Mambo No 5

There's not many of us left
My epittaph

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