Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Not much to comment on today, except that the Footy season is under way
and the Eagles won their first game

High Speed Police chase

With a difference

Make sure you watch it all the way thru

Easter has come and gone
Read this on Big Shot Bob From Texas

Don't put all of your eggs in one basket
Walk softly and carry a big carrot
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears
There's no such thing as too much candy
All work and no play can make you a basket case
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day
Some body parts should be floppy
Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans
Good things come in small sugarcoated packages
The grass is always greener in someone else's basket
An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare
To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together.
The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde,
Buffy, in great detail.
The robbery begins...
Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffy,
"I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan.
You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash.
Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," said Buffy.
Buffy goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes... Two minutes pass... Seven minutes pass...
and Judy is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open!
And here comes Buffy.
She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car.
About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car,
the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.
The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.
As the gals are getting away, Judy says
"You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"
Buffy said, "I did... I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot," said Judy.
"You got it all mixed up.
I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"


Two Jewish sisters-in-law meet on the street.
Ruth says to Golda,
"Such news I got for you, Golda! My Irving is finally getting married.
He tells me he is engaged to this vonderful Jewish girl,
but he thinks the poor darling may have some strange illness called herpes."
After offering congratulations, Golda says to Ruth,
"So, Ruthie, do you have any idea vat is this herpes, and can our Irving catch it?"
Ruth answers, "God forbid!
But his Papa and I are just so happy to hear about his engagement.
You know how ve've all vorried about him.
It's past time he's settled vith a nice girl.
As far as the herpes goes, who knows?"
"Vell...," Golda says,
"I have a very fine medical dictionary, you know, Ruthie.
I'll just run home right now and look it up and call you."
So, Golda goes home, looks it up, and calls Ruth excitedly,
"Ruth! Ruth! Thank goodness, I found it.
Not to vorry!
It says herpes is a disease affecting the gentiles."

Super Size me

At the end of a tiny deserted bar sits a drunken Irishman
He’s having a few beers when a gay man walks in and sits beside him.
After three or four beers,
the gay fellow finally plucks up the courage to say something to the Irishman.
Leaning over towards him, he whispers,
"Do you want a blow job?"
At this the Irishman leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the crap out of him,
knocking him swiftly off his stool.
He proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving him bruised
and battered in the parking lot and returns to his seat.
Amazed, the bartender quickly brings over another beer to the Irishman
. "I’ve never seen you react like that," he says.
"Just what did he say to you?"
"I don’t know," the Irishman replied.
"Something about a job."

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.
Paddy the officer stops them and tells them:
“It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four”.
“Quattro is just the name of the automobile,” the Englishman retorts disbelievingly.
“Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five persons.”
You cannot pull that one on me,” replies Paddy
“Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.
“The Englishmen replies angrily,
“You idiot! Call your supervisor over I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!”
“Sorry,” responds Paddy,
“Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.”

American Politics

A famous Viking explorer returned home after many months at sea.
He discovered his name had been removed from the town register.
So he complained to local officials.
Upon learning of the mistake, one official apologized profusely.
He said,
“I must have taken Leif off my census.”

Yet more signs............

In the early seventies Jud Strunk composed a simple, but beautiful love song
'A Daisy a Day'
Following are two videos
The first is Jud singing his hit song
After watching the first, watch the second clip
This is a creative video of the same song
This is a very clever clip about the song
In between Ihave included the lyrics in case you want to have a sing a long
Jud Strunk..A Daisy a Day

Daisy a Day Words and music by Jud Strunk)
He remembers the first time he met her.
He remembers the first thing she said.
He remembers the first time he held her,
And the night that she came to his bed.
He remembers her sweet way of saying,
"Honey, has something gone wrong?"
He remembers the fun and the teasing,
And the reason he wrote her this song:
"I'll give you a daisy a day, dear.
I'll give you a daisy a day.
I'll love you until the rivers run still
And the four winds we know blow away.
"They would walk down the street in the evening,
And for years I would see them go by.
And their love that was more than the clothes that they wore,
Could be seen in the gleam of their eyes.
As a kid, they would take me for candy,
And I loved to go tagging along.
We'd hold hands while we walked to the corner,
And the old man would sing her his song:
"I'll give you a daisy a day, dear.
I'll give you a daisy a day.
I'll love you until the rivers run still
And the four winds we know blow away.
"Now he walks down the street in the evening,
And he stops by the old candy store.
And I somehow believe he's believing
He's holding her hand like before.
For he feels all her love walking with him,
And he smiles at the things she might say.
Then the old man walks up to the hilltop
And gives her a daisy a day
."I'll give you a daisy a day, dear.
I'll give you a daisy a day.
I'll love you until the rivers run still
And the four winds we know blow away."

Jud Strunk (11 June 1936 - 5 October 1981)
was an American singer, songwriter, and comedian.
Born Justin Strunk, Jr. in Jamestown, New York,
he was raised in Buffalo, New York
where as a small boy his showmanship became evident.
After he learned to play the banjo,
Strunk began entertaining locals and went on to wide recognition after
appearances on national television network shows such as Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In
and The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.
In 1973, he wrote and recorded the song "Daisy A Day"
that made it into Billboard's Top Twenty on both the country and pop music charts.
He had three more humorous songs that made it into the country music charts
and toured with the Andy Williams Road Show.
Strunk became a folk hero of sorts in Maine and in 1970
he narrowly lost the election for a Senate seat in the state legislature.
He was also a private pilot and purchased a 1941 Fairchild M62-A.
Unfortunately, on 5 October 1981,
he suffered a heart attack while taking off in the aircraft
at the Carrabassett Valley Airport in Maine
and was killed instantly along with his passenger.
He was 45 years old.

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