Saturday, March 29, 2008

It's Saturday night and nothing on telly, no footy to watch.
So, Imight as well put out the blog

Very clever Ad
Watch closely

Really cool pictures of ankle biters[Kids]

The reason there are so many Irish jokes is because the Irish have a quaint way with words.

· Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery's' waiting room."I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I'd hate to feel like this if I was well!"

· Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics.He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects."He's got a great tan," Mrs Doolan from next door mused. "The holiday did him the world of good.""And he looks so calm and serene," said Mrs McGuiness."That's because he died in his sleep." explained Mrs Murphy, "and he doesn't know he's dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!"

· "Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another?""And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?" replied O'Flaherty.

· Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble."Is that you Murphy?" called his wife."Byjasis! It damned well better be!"

· Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding."Are ya dead?" cried Gallagher from above."To be sure I am," replied Murphy."You are such a liar Murphy that I don't know whether to believe you or not!" Called Gallagher."That proves I'm dead," said Murphy's voice from the rubble below, "because if I was alive you wouldn't be game to call me a liar!"

· Dublin's contestant in an international quiz was waiting for his first question."First, what's your name and occupation?" The compere asked."Pass", came the reply.

· PADDY... "If you can guess how many chooks I have in my bag, you can have both of them.""Three?"... Suggested Shaun.
· Paddy was coming through the customs at the airport carrying a large bottle."What have you there?" said a suspicious customs officer."Tis Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me", said Paddy."The officer took the bottle and tried some." Why it's Irish whiskey!" he spluttered."Lord bless me!" said Paddy, "another bloomin`miracle."

· On his way home one night, Paddy dropped into the pub.The barman poured him a beer and asked if he wanted to be in a raffle."What's it for?" asked Paddy."It's for a poor widow with 13 kids." said the barman.Paddy shook his head, "No good for me. I'd never be able to keep them
.thanks Gordon Hamilton

Global Warming

A man died and was sent to hell.
A few seconds after his arrival, the Devil appeared in a cloud of smoke and said
“Why hello, welcome to Hell!
You’re just in time for dinner, please follow me.”
The man followed the Devil rather nervously, wondering what was going to happen,
and was surprized to find a table piled high with delicious food waiting for him.
Assuming this was his last good meal before hell started, he dug in.
When he was finished the Devil said, “Now allow me to show you to your quarters.”
The man sighed and reluctantly followed the Devil down a long hallway.
He could hear terrible blood-curdling screams coming from behind a door at the end of the hall. “Well,” he thought, “this is it.”
But to his surprize the Devil turned left at the the door,
and led him down another hallway and outside towards a magnificent beachhouse
with a Porsche in front.
When they got there the Devil handed the befuddeled man the keys to house and car,
wished him a nice stay and turned to leave.
The man couldn’t take it any longer.
He said to the Devil
“Excuse me, but I don’t understand. This is hell, and I’m being treated like a king!
What was behind the door we went past on the way here?
Is that what’s really in store for me?”
The Devil smiled and said,
“Why no, the room we went by is reserved for the Catholics.
They seem to want it that way.”


A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before making passionate love, the wife tells the husband,
"Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin."
The husband being shocked, replied,
"How's this possible? You've been married three times before."
The wife responds,
"Well, my first husband was a gynaecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it.
My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it.
Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was.
..oh, do I miss him!"

Why Heather Mills wants all that money!!!!

Barry wonders if having sex on the Sabbath
is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.
So Barry first of all goes to a catholic priest and asks for his opinion on this question.
After consulting the Bible, the priest says,
"My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work
and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."
Barry thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?"
So he goes to a protestant minister,
who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.
Barry queries the minister and receives the same reply.
"Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath."
Not pleased with the replies, Barry then seeks out the ultimate authority:
a man of thousands of years’ tradition and knowledge.
In other words, he goes to a rabbi.
The rabbi ponders the question, then states,
"My son, sex is definitely play."
Barry replies,
"Thank goodness but rabbi, how can you be so sure
when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The rabbi softly speaks,
"If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it

Cool Advert for concrete

Two gentlemen are using the facilities at Grand Central Station in New York.
One gentleman says to the other,
"Are you from Borough Park?"
The other gentleman exclaims,
"Yeah, how did you know that?"
The first gentleman says,
"Do you belong to Temple Beth El?"
The second gentleman exclaims,
"Yeah, how did you know that?"
The first gentleman says,
"Is Rabbi Yablonobovitz, the mohel, still there?"
The second gentleman exclaims
"Yeah, how did you know that?"
The first gentleman answers,
"Because he always cuts on a slant,
and you're peeing on my shoe!"

Still more signs

I think this should read...Chilled Beer

Best ever Business card

looks almost like Stevie boys card!!!!!

Today's clip was recorded in 1986
If you like Rock n Roll
Then you'll love this
It will give you goosebumps
Ray Charles, Fats Domino and Jerry Lee Lewis

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