Thursday, August 14, 2008

You know your getting old

Don't worry. tomorrow's Friday

Got this six pack of yummy Canadian beer for my Birthday
Thanks Jim
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an old rancher, in town.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it
that he was marrying a ‘mail order’ bride.
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom assured him that it was.
The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said,‘She’ll be thirty-one in November.’
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that
the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an old man.
Wanting his old friend’s remaining years to be happy the banker
tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand
to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.
‘How’s the new wife?’, asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, ‘Good - she’s pregnant.’
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued,
‘And how’s the hired hand?’
Without hesitating, Tom said,
‘She’s pregnant too.
Don’t ever underestimate old Guys!

Why it's dangerous to fall asleep on the job

Desperate "lowlife" Paprazzi

Who's The BOSS
CEO was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss".
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch,
he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
Your wife called, she wants her sign back!

The late Spike Milligan at his brillant best
Got some idle time on your hands!!!!
Here is a link to card Game Flash Poker
You get 1000 credits

Honest Teacher
A student comes to a young professor’s office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.
”I would do anything to pass this exam,” she says.
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
“I mean,” she whispers, “I would do anything…”
He returns her gaze, “Anything?”
“Anything.” She says
His voice softens, “Anything?”
“Anything,” she repeats again.
His voice turns to a whisper.
“Would you … study?”

Bone A'ppetite


Today's double play is
Guitar Boogie
two cover versions of Arthur Smiths original hit
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Australia's very own
Tommy Emmanuel

Why would you do this to yourself????

Gotcha...The bull wins this round

The above two pictures stolen from "Its Knutz"

Story With A Interesting Moral
There is this Fisherman,
Let's call him Vishy (rhymes with Fishy).
Vishy goes out fishing each morning, casts his net and gathers his catch
and sells them in the market and makes a living out of it.
On one occasion he gets up too early and sleep eludes him.
So he decides to go fishing ,
any way it's too dark to go fishing ,
so he strolls by the Bank of the River and waits for the Sun to appear
He stumbles upon a sack
.This sack is a bit heavy and there were some pebbles in it
Now, when you have a river and a sack of pebbles and a lot of time to kill,
the logical thing to do is to throw the pebbles into the river
Vishy did just the same
He tried all the things we do
Throwing it as far as possible,
as high as possible,
make the pebbles bounce as many times an possible....
.Now with just one stone remaining,
the sun rose and the stone in his hand began to glow as well
Damn! The stone was a diamond!!!!
That's when he realized that all those pebbles he had thrown away
were actually Precious Stones!!!
Moral Of The Story Is

Don't get up too early in the morning

How to distract a kid
Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate
on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives.
His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself...
television, ice cream, homework, video games..
.but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players
and calling out the cards they held.
The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit the game and all go home.
At this point, the boy's uncle stood up, took Johnny by the hand,
and led him out of the room.
The uncle soon returned back to the poker table without Johnny,
and without comment the game resumed.
For the rest of the afternoon, little Johnny was nowhere to be seen
and the card players continued without any further interruptions.
After the poker game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle,
"What in the world did you say to Johnny? I haven't heard a peep from him all day!"
"Not much," the boy's uncle replied.
"I just showed him how to masturbate."

1 comment:

Bunk Strutts said...

Tom Petty & the FartBraiders? Actually I've got their first album that I won on a radio call-in contest at about 3AM.

(He wasn't all that bad, but it sounds like he was trying to emulate Brian Setzer & the Stray Cats on this one.)