Monday, June 1, 2009


Saturday was my youngest grandaughters Birthday
Happy Birthday Amber
This is for you
An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.
They had married as childhood sweethearts and
had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands they walked to their old school.
It was not locked, so they entered, and found the desk they’d shared,
where Andy had carved I love you, Sally.
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car,
practically landing at their feet.
Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home.
There, she counted the money.
Fifty-thousand dollars.
Andy said, we’ve got to give it back.
Sally said, finders keepers.
She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money,
and knocked on the door.
They ask: "Did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"
Sally said, "No."
Andy said, "She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic."
Sally said, "Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile."
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.
One says:"Tell us the story from the beginning."
Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . .
"The FBI guy turns to his partner and says,
"We’re outta here
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Fran and Mario Cowan have been married for 62 years
Mario is 90 years old
This made me smile
stolen from...Miss C Recommends


A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After looking the man over he says,
“Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?”
The man gets really indignant and says,
“Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed.
Have you been eating doughnuts?”
Dangerously asleep on the job

For the benefit of those who were frustrated with the leaping frogs game in the last post
[including me]
Here is how to do it
The trick is to set them so they alternate on the stones.
Call the yellow frogs, from the left - Y1, Y2 and Y3
And the brown ones, from the left - B1, B2 and B3.
Number the stones, from the left - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 [neat huh?]

Y3 > 4
B1 > 3
B2 > 5
Y3 > 6
Y2 > 4
Y1 > 2
B1 > 1
B2 > 3
B3 > 5
Y3 > 7
Y2 > 6
Y1 > 4
B2 > 2
B3 > 3
Y1 > 5
thanks Ray S
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Lawyer on Vacation
A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town.
While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning,
he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.
Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision.
He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car.
Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly,
"Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."
The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

Problem at the Zoo
Someone mistakenly left the cages open in the Reptile House at the zoo
and there were snakes slithering all over the place.
Frantically, the keeper tried everything,
but he couldn't get the slippery animals back into their cages.
Finally, he yelled,
"Quick, call a lawyer!"
"A lawyer?
"We need someone who speaks their language."
"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence
for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
A pipe burst in a lawyer's house, so he called a plumber.
The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools,
did mysterious plumber-type things for a while,
and handed the lawyer a bill for $600.
The lawyer exclaimed,
"This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a lawyer!"
The plumber replied sympathetically,
"Neither did I when I was a lawyer."

I don't like my haircut!!!!


In the depths of the countryside there lived a farmer who took care of baby animals.
The farm was very peaceful until one day the farmer’s pig was murdered.
Now the farmer took the incident very seriously, so he started an investigation.
Unfortunately, the only witness the farmer had to this murder was his pet bunny rabbit.
Since the rabbit was unable to speak and tell him who murdered his little pig,
the farmer lined up his four prime suspects, a cow, a horse, a goat, and a duck,
and told the rabbit to pick out who had committed the dirty deed.
The rabbit hopped up and down the line, checking each animal,
and then finally hopped forward three feet, and stopped in front of the goat.
“It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me!” yelled the goat.
The farmer shook his head and said,
“The hare’s looking at you, kid.”

stolen from.....Archies Archive

Once there was a mouse who grew tired of his humdrum life.
He journeyed into the forest to seek the counsel
and miracles produced by the wise old owl.
"And what would you rather be?" asked the owl.
"A garden gnome," replied the mouse.
"Well, the first thing we'll have to do is make you quite a bit larger,
but I think I have enough yeast to do the job.
Follow me into the leaven room."
Once inside, the owl went into the corner and returned with a large shovel.
"Wow," said the mouse with a touch of awe and fear in his squeaky little voice.
"How much yeast are you going to use?"
"Well," replied the owl, "you know what they say.
It takes a lot of leaven to make a mouse a gnome."

Dave Clark Five Twin Spin

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Punny Cartoons

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The other day, I got pulled over by the police
because my car didn't have any hubcaps on the tires.
I said, "What's the charge officer?"
He said, "It's Indecent Exposure."
I exclaimed, "Indecent exposure?"
He said, "Yes! You can't just ride around with your Nuts showing!"


Getting the bullet

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Phils Philosophy

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are understood to be in the public domain.
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Sandee said...

They finished that cute little tune and then took a nap right? That was awesome.

Have a terrific day Phil. :)

Phils Phun said...

Hi Sandee
More than likely, althogh they look pretty frisky for their age