302

After the last post re: 51 years ago,
Ithought I might throw in a couple of really early hits from the 60's
If you know these or remember them, then you are as old as me

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During WWII, an American Army Captain stationed in England met

and fell in love with a British Lieutenant in the WRENS.

After a whirlwind courtship, they became engaged

and his fiancée wanted him to spend the weekend at her parents' home

in the country so they could meet him.

When they arrived at a huge estate,

a Rolls Royce was parked infront of a circular driveway with a staff of a dozen maids, butlers,gardeners, etc., standing at attention awaiting their arrival

. It was obvious to the Yank that his fiancée was no ordinary Brit, bu tof the nobility

. Her parents were absolutely taken by her choice o fa husband

and a delightful weekend was enjoyed by all.

When the Yank returned to his headquarters outside London,

he wen tto the British liaison officer's office, explained what had happened,

and asked what the proper protocol would be for him at the wedding

."At the wedding, pretty much the same as your American weddings, I would say

, but a bit more elaborate. The big difference would be after the wedding.

You will both have connecting rooms in the Claridge Hotel.

You will both go to your separate rooms, where you will bathe,

apply cologne, put on your pyjamas and robe,

and go to thedoor connecting your two rooms.

You will rap on the door.

She will answer, 'yes,' and you will say,

'I offer you my honour.'

She will respond, 'I honour your offer.'

That is your permission to enter her room.

After that, it's honour and offer all night."
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Gotta love this

10/10

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Those funny animals

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A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical.

The doctorputs his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says,

'Big breaths...'
The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen.'

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A small boy ran down the street in search of a cop.

Eventually finding one, he begged,

"Please come back to the bar with me.

My daddy is in a fight!"

The officer accompanied him back to the bar

where he found three men involved in a violent fist-fight

. "OK, son," said the cop, "which one is your daddy?

""I don't know," said the boy.

"That's what they're fighting about!"


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Request time

For Ray S who is a Big O fan

Got a favourite video you liked to see

email me and Iwill post it here for you

philco@iinet.net.au

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GHOST SEX

A professor at Texas A&M University was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks,

'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

About 90 students raise their hands.

'Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts,

do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

About 40 students raise their hands.

'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously.

Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

About 15 students raise their hand.

'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

Three students raise their hands.

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further....

Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says 'Son, all the years

I'v been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.

You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin

, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks,

'So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

Bubba replied,

"From way back there I thought you said Goats."

thanks Josie J

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Some funny signs

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A man and his brother were driving from

Chattanooga to Atlanta for the weekend to see their mother.

On the way down, they saw a man on the side of the road trying to catch a ride.

The hitchhiker looked okay, he had on a nice black suit

and a brown briefcase in his hand.

So, the two men picked him up

. On the way, the man kept fumbling around in his briefcase for something.

The two brothers were beginning to become afraid

there was something horrible in the briefcase, so the older brother said,

" What's in the briefcase."

"None of your business," the man replied.

They continued on down the road.

By now, the two brothers were really scared

The younger brother was on the verge of a nervous breakdown

. "What's in the briefcase?" the younger one asked again nervously

."None of your business," he replied a little louder

.After a while the older brother pulled over into a gas station parking lot

and the two brothers got out.

" What do you think we should do?" one of them asked

."Tell him to go to the bathroom because it's going to be a long ride," the other replied.

So, they went back and told the man to go the bathroom.

And he went.

When he returned he found that the two brothers had driven away

and left him behind.

The brothers grabbed the briefcase and snapped it open,

and you know whatwas in it?

It's None of Your Business!

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The winter Olympics are about to start in Vancouver, British Colombia

Wayne W sent me this great promo video

Thanks Wayne





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WOMEN

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Celebrity Quotes

"I didn't even know my bra size until I made a movie." -Angelina Jolie

"I would rather have a cup of tea than sex." -Boy George

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all." -Mike Tyson

"I pick my nose and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

If there's a bogey then just pick it, man." -Justin Timberlake

"Wal-mart...do they like make walls there?" -Paris Hilton

"I've been noticing gravity since I was very young." -Cameron Diaz

"I'm like a monk with a taste for hookers." -Moby

"I think the longer I look good, the better gay men feel." -Cher

"I would like to see the Pope wearing my T-shirt." -Madonna

"I'm thinking about naming my first son Emmy so I can say I've got one." -Noah Wyle

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thanks Liz Z


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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

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Meet my room mate

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If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.