Tuesday, June 8, 2010

332

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Here!, Take a couple of these
and then proceed




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A blonde and her sister are at the airport
waiting for the blonde's childhood friend to arrive.
Her friend had moved out of state
when they were in elementary school.
The blonde says,
"I wonder if I'll recognize her.
She's been away for a long time."
Her friend says,
"Maybe not. Do you think she'll recognize you?"
The blonde says,
"Of course she will. I haven't been away at all."


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Seen in Ohio


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thanks Peter P



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The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health
and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked,
"How would you diagnose a patient who walks back
and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute,
then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered,
"A basketball coach?"
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Those Funny Animals












funny animated gif




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A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road.
The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned
about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO"
were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft.
As the station owner stood and gawked in silence,
paralyzed with shock,
his young blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank
and waved to the two aliens as they took off.
"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.
"Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"
The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. "Good grief, boss!
I've been working here for six years.
Of course I know what 'UFO' means
'Unleaded Fuel Only.'"


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Deserted










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Airline Ads

thanks Liz Z
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Parody on British Airways


thanks Gordon H
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The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this
!Men should memorize it!
Every woman knows that there are days in the month
when all a man has to do is open his mouth
and he takes his life in his hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common
as a driver's license in the wallet of every
husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other




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A fellow got up one morning and decided
he no longer was going to shave himself,
he was instead going to the barber for his morning shave.
The town barber also happened to be the local Pastor in town.
When the guy walked into the barber shop
the barber/pastor was not there,
he was out on a pastoral call but his wife Grace was in the shop.
The man said to Grace, "I want a shave."
Grace told him to climb up in the chair and she gave him a shave.
When Grace was finished he asked her how much for the shave
and Grace said, "Twenty dollars."
"Twenty dollars, that seems a little steep," the guy replied.
Grace said: "That's my charge."
So the guy gave her $20 bill and went on his way.
The next morning when he got up he went to the mirror
and looked and his face was as smooth as when he was shaved the day before.
He checked the following the day, same thing,
a week went by, two weeks and his face stayed as smooth as a baby's face.
Finally after the third week he stopped back in the barber shop
and Grace happened to be there.
The guy said to her: "Grace, I can't believe I still don't need another shave.
You did some kind of magnificent job."
And Grace replied,
"Well, you have been shaved by Grace and once shaved always shaved!"
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Hair Conditioner
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Seniors

Old Men and Stairs
Some people just don't learn



EMBED-Guys Can't Make It Up Down Escalator - Watch more free videos

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Ann Margaret and the Bay City Rollers
Watch the reaction of some of the audience

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BLAST FROM THE PAST




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PHILS PHILOSOPHY
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Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.






4 comments:

Mike Golch said...

great posting.love the 'toons

Phils Phun said...

G'day Mike
Thanks for that
Cheers from down under

Bunk Strutts said...

Oops... that's Ann Margaret, not Jane Fonda, in the BCR vid. It's still funny. My own gramma liked them, too.

Phils Phun said...

G'day Bunk
Cheers
Must be getting senile
It is of course the lovely Ann Margaret
Nice to know someone is awake
I owe you a beer