333

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Sad and Funny

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Ain't that the truth

Ain't that the truth

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Crispian St Peters passed away on

June 8th aged 71... RIP

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A man goes into a little neighborhood pub,

and when he sits down,

he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar.

He waves to her, and much to his surprise,

she winks back at him.

It doesn't take long before he is on the stool next to her.
They talk for about fifteen minutes

and then the man says to the woman,

"You're really hot!"

"You're pretty cute, too," she says to him.

"I'll tell you what. I live just around the corner.

What do you think about coming up to my place?"
"It sounds great!" the man eagerly replies.
"Before we go up there, though," the woman says,

"I have to ask you one question:

Do you like doing it Greek style?"
"Well...uh...I'm not exactly sure what that is," the man answers,

"but it sure sounds interesting and I'm willing to learn! Let's go!"
So the two of them walk over to her apartment.

As soon as they get inside the door, the woman rips off all her clothes.

The man can't believe his eyes.

The woman has an incredibly beautiful body.

"Now, you're *sure*," the woman asks,

"that you want to do it Greek style?"
"Definitely!" the man replies.
"All right, then," says the woman.

"Take off all your clothes,

and get up on the bed on yours hands and knees."
"Sounds like fun!" the man exclaims

. He leaps out of his clothes and climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees.

The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front of the man.

She kneels down in front of his head.

She asks him again,

"Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"
"Yeah! Yeah!" says the man.
The woman grabs the man with her arms right under his armpits,

getting him in a lock hold.

He can't move at all,

and his head is pressing right into her chest.
One more time she says,

"Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"
The man's muffled voice can barely be heard from between her breasts.

"Yeah!" he mumbles

, "Greek style!"
The woman's grip on him tightens like a vice,

and she yells out, "GUS!"

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Those funny Animals

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LOL

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--

If you are interested in the Soccer World Cup here is a cool link

http://www.marca.com/deporte/futbol/mundial/sudafrica-2010/calendario-english.html


-----------------

One day a guy died and found himself in hell.

As he was wallowing in despair

, he had his first meeting with a demon.

The demon asked, 'Why so glum?'

The guy responded, 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'

'Hell's not so bad,' the demon said.

'We actually have a lot of fun down here.

You a drinking man?'

'Sure,' the man said, 'I love to drink.'

'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then.

On Mondays all we do is drink.

Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca.

We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!'

The guy is astounded. 'Damn, that sounds great.'

'You a smoker?' the demon asked.

'You better believe it!'

'You're gonna love Tuesdays.

We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! .

If you get cancer, no biggie You're already dead, remember?'

'Wow, the guy said, 'that's awesome!

' The demon continued. 'I bet you like to gamble.'

'Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.'

'Wednesdays you can gamble all you want

. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever.

If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow.

You into drugs?'

The guy said, 'Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . .

.' 'That's right! Thursday is drug day.

Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack

. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.

You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!'

'Wow,' the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation

, 'I never realized Hell was such a cool place!'

The demon said, 'You gay?'

'No.'

'Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!'

thanks Ron H

-------------------

How does he do it??

thanks David J and Peter H

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----------

An Irishman, Jew, and a Greek are standing at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter walks up and says

"Guys it's been a real bad day,

I'm beat and just want to take a break.

Tell you what.

If you each agree to give up your favorite vice,

I'll send you all back."
The three guys agree.

The Irishman gives up drink, the Jew money, the Greek sex.

In a flash they're back on the street outside a bar.

The Jew and the Greek decide to go in

and have a drink to their good fortune.

As usual one drink leads to another etc. etc.

The Irishman decides to go in and join his friends.

As the hours pass poor old Patty gets thirstier and thirstier.

"What the hell " says Patty,

"St Peter is probably asleep by now, one drink can't hurt".

He orders a drink and downs in.

In a flash Patty is gone.
The Jew and the Greek leave the bar

and are walking down the street both feeling terrible about what happened.

As they're walking the Jew sees a twenty dollar bill

on the sidewalk ahead of them.

He steps forward and bends over to pick up the bill.

In a flash the Greek is gone.


-----------------------

Ewok Karaoke

Ewok Karaoke from Rob Tyler on Vimeo.

stolen from Miss Cellania

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Funny Signs

---

Blast from the Past

1962

-------------------------

Butterflies and Fairies

A man walks into a public men's room.

His arms are held awkwardly out to his sides,

forearms hanging limply, fingers spread apart.

He approaches another man and asks,

"Excuse me, but could you please unzip my fly?"

The second fellow is embarrassed,

but feels sorry for the stranger, who appears to be crippled.

He thinks how humiliating it must be to have to ask

for help for something like this, so he complies,

unzipping the first man's pants.

Next, the man asks him to hold his member while he pees.

The second guy is even more embarrassed, but does as he is asked.

Finally, the first guy finishes,

and the second man starts to it back in his pants for him.

"Oh, I can take care of that," the first man says,

blowing on his fingers.

"I think my nails are dry now."



--------------------------------

Q: Why do Greek men wear gold neckchains?

A: So they know when to stop shaving.

Q: How do Greeks separate the men from the boys?

A: With a crowbar.
Q: What do you call a Greek girl who keeps running away from home?

A: A virgin.
Q: Why couldn't the Greek boy run away from home?

A: He couldn't leave his brothers behind!
Q: What's long and hard that a Greek bride gets on her wedding night?

A: A new last name.


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AWESOME VIDEO





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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

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Disclaimer

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are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,
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