364

Gotta love this

Adorable and Funny

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A rich man is driving down the highway

and he see's a man in the median eating handfuls of grass,

he tell his driver to pull over and he yells to the man,

"What are you doing there?"

The man says, "I am broke and hungry

and this is the best I can find."

The rich guy says, "Come with me and I can help!"

The poor man says, "But what about my wife?"

The rich guy says, "She can come too!"

The poor man says, "But my children are just up the road, what about them?"

The rich guy, reluctantly say's, "They can come too".

The poor man says "How about my aunt and uncle, and sisters?"

To which the rich guys replies

"Just how big do you think my lawn is?"

stolen from Miss Cellania

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Those funny Animals

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A blonde rider at the stables was trying to saddle a horse.

“Excuse me,” said the old hand,

“but you are putting that saddle on backwards.”

“How do you know,” snapped the blonde.

“You don’t know which way I’m going.”

thanks Duke

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SOMETHING AUSSIE
I had a few requests for another Ted Egan Song

In the NW of Western Australia is the pearling town of Broome

In its early days there were many Japanese divers, diving for pearls

This song is about one of them

If you visit Broome today there is a well mantained Japanese Cemetry

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Broome

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another clip from the TV Show
"the Gruen Transfer"



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1936, Morris Rabinowitz, a successful dentist, fled his native Germany.

He sold his assets and made five sets of solid gold teeth with his cash.

That much gold was well above the limit he could bring into the U.S. at that time.

When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed

as to why anybody would have five sets of gold teeth.

So Morris explained:

"Jews who keep kosher have two separate sets of dishes

for meat products and dairy products,

but, I am so religious I also have separate sets of teeth."
The customs official shook his head and said,

"Well that accounts for two sets of teeth; what about the other three?"
"Very religious Jews use separate dishes for Passover,

but, I am so Orthodox I have separate teeth for Passover meat

and for Passover dairy food."
The customs official shook his head approvingly and said,

"You must be a man of very strong faith to have separate teeth for meat

and dairy products and likewise for Passover.

That accounts for four sets of teeth.

What about the fifth set?"
Morris looked around and spoke softly

"To tell you the truth," he said,

once in a while I like a ham sandwich."

thanks Ray S

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Fancy a game of Mini Golf

Twenty-one holes of miniature golf

http://www.ibogleif.dk/spil/flashspil/minigolf/minigolf.swf

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KIDS

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Blast from the Past




This song was written after Gordon Lightfoot found

out J Belushi was visiting his place while he was on tour

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Cartoon mom Marge Simpson and singing sensation Tina Turner

opened up a health food restaurant together.

Their menu selections were exceedingly tasty,

even though the items were never cooked in a pan or breaded.

Thus, it was never necessary for their customers to shout to the two owners,

"Don't fry for me, Marge and Tina!"


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Arthur Binder, famous mathematician and professor

of calculus at a well known university,

was driving home from a party.

Everyone tried to stop him from getting behind the wheel

because they felt that he drank a little too much,

but he refused,

saying that he had to give a lecture at a math seminar the next morning.

He promised to go directly to his hotel to sleep it off

as he carefully placed his precious calculations

and notes next to him on the front seat and drove away.

Unfortunately, his car was weaving all over the road

and a policeman pulled him over.

The cop could smell the liquor on Arthur's breath and,

when he looked into the car,

he saw all of his mathematical computations on the front seat.

"Sir," said the policeman, "I'm really shocked.

An educated man like you should know that alcohol and calculus don't mix.

You are under arrest.

It is against the law to drink and derive!"

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Back in the 1800s,

when Canada's founding fathers gathered to discuss

and plan independence from England,

the issue of what to call this new country naturally came up.

One of the founding fathers really liked what the neighbors

to the south did and pitched the idea.

"USA is simple. It's catchy. It works.

How about if we put the letters of the alphabet in a hockey helmet,

pull out three, and that's our name.

What do you think, eh?"

Everyone liked the idea and approved.

So the 26 letters of the alphabet went into a helmet,

and one of the founding fathers picked the three letters.

He read them off as he picked them.

"C, eh... N, eh... D, eh"


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Some funny and weird signs

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Medical

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Two women were having lunch together,

and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.
The first woman said,

“I need to be honest with you,

I’m getting a boob job.”
The second woman responded,

“Oh, that’s nothing.

I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!”
“Whoa,” replied the first woman,

"I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde!”


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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

but I leave you with this





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