Thursday, August 30, 2007


Here in Australia, this Sunday is Fathers day,
if you are a Dad have a good one

[borrowed these images from Miss Cellania's blog]

This is a very funny NIKE advert
Yamba beach......... New South Wales

The day the Pacific was whipped up into an ocean of froth
Foam swallowed an entire beach and half the nearby buildings,
including the local lifeguards' centre,
in a freak display of nature at Yamba in New South Wales.
One minute a group of teenage surfers were waiting to catch a wave,
the next they were swallowed up in a giant bubble bath.
The foam was so light that they could puff it out of their hands and watch it float away.
not seen at the beach for more than three decades.
Scientists explain that the foam is created by impurities in the ocean,
such as salts, chemicals, dead plants, decomposed fish and excretions from seaweed.
All are churned up together by powerful currents which cause the water to form bubbles.
These bubbles stick to each other as they are carried below
the surface by the current towards the shore.
As a wave starts to form on the surface,
the motion of the water causes the bubbles to swirl upwards and, massed together,
they become foam.
The foam "surfs" towards shore until the wave "crashes", tossing the foam into the air.

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying
and he called his grandson to his bed and told him:
"Grandson I wanta you to listen to me.
I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me".
The grandson replies: "But grandpa I really don't like guns,
how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead"
.The don, angry, answers: "You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness,
you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money,
a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino,
some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man.
Whata you gonna do then?
Pointa to you watch and say, 'TIMES UP'"?

Here's a quiz for
What is special about those countries highlighted in red on this World Map
Send in your answers
I' ll buy a beer for the winner

A car was involved in an accident in a street.
As expected, a large crowd gathered.
A newspaper reporter anxious to get his story could not get near the car.
Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly,
"Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."
The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
[thanks Miss Cellania]

Senior dating
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking.
Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date.
I know you went out with him last week,
and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.”
Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M.,
dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers!
Then he takes me downstairs, and what’s there but a luxury car…
a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
Then he takes me out for dinner… a marvelous dinner…
lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks.
Then we go see a show. Let me tell you,
Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!
So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL.
Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress
and has his way with me two times!”
Dorothy: “Goodness gracious!… so you are telling me I shouldn’t go out with him?”

Edna: “No, no, no… I’m just saying, wear an old dress.”

This must be one mean cat

Some Animal cartoons

A lady went into a bar in Waco, Texas
and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.
He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men
with big feet are well endowed.

The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady.
Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.

Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am.
Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."

"Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."

Walking by, a minister saw his 5-year-old son and playmates find a dead robin.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed,

the children had secured a small box and cotton batting,

then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers

and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what

he thought his father always said:

"Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn...

and into the hole he gooooes."

A couple of jokes from our readers

A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese.
One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his bed.
It was a finespring day in his new Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning, this is Sergeant Jones, how might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself.
This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's.
There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn.
Would ye beso kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite awit, replied with a smirk.
"Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.
Father O'Malley then replied:
"Aye, 'tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."
[thanks Jim King]

An attorney arrived home late after a very tough day trying to get
a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight.
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor
had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home,
his wife started on him about the time he got home.
"Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it," she said.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual he went
and poured himself a double shot of whiskey
and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub,
pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks
as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang.
His wife answered and was told that her husband's client,
James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.
Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realising what a terrible day he must have had,
she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door,
she was greeted by the sight of the rear of her husband,
bent over, naked, drying his legs and feet.
"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.
To which he whirled around and screamed:
[Thanks Frank Andinach]

Patsy Cline....Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray

BLOGGER has a new tool where you can insert video's
direct from your Windows media file
So this one is a trial to see if it works
Sent to me by my brother danny
"Don't buy tools during October"
Click on the arrow and it should work

No comments: