Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The last day of April
Here in Perth ,we have just recorded the wettest April for 82 years
Hopefully it will continue into May
This video has been around for a number of years.
Some of you may not have seen it.
I know Bunk over at
Tacky Raccoons
will like it
Its followed by some of the memorable quotes from the clip

Daz: Well, Baz just vanished, like a... fart in a fan factory, you know? And I'm a little pissed off about it, seein' as how the bloke still owes me a six-pack! [chuckles]
Daz: But yeah, no one knows what happened to the little baz-tard.
Daz: 'Course, there is one other thing we toads fear. A real mean bastard!
Built like a brick shithouse!
With teeth that could rip a bloke inside-out, you know?
They call him Victa!
Daz: Anything could have happened to Baz, I know that, I'm not stupid!
Daz: Look, if Baz wasn't careful, Big Victa would be all over him like flies on shit!
You'd only have the time it takes to shotgun a tenny, before his ass... was grass.
Daz: But, uh, but Baz... if you *are* out there somewhere... come back, mate. Eh?
Daz: But then, folks 'round here reckon I don't know one end of the dog's ball from another and they could be right, you know?
Daz: I'll bet you fifty bucks that Baz has crossed the Black Stump... into Toad Popper's Run! *All* toads should know that's dangerous territory, that!
Most people *do* know that, but Baz... , uh, I don't know, if that's where he's ended up...
he'd better like pancakes!
[a truck smashes Baz, and leaves him conscious with his organs outside of his mouth]
[first lines] Daz: [farts] Oh, excuse me! Uh, G'day! Eh, go on. Uh, my name's Daz, but me mates call me Dazza.
I'm just here to talk about me little mate, uh, Baz, actually, cause, pickle me grandma, the silly old bugger's gone bloody missing!
Daz: And then there's Baz's sense of direction. He's pretty bloody useless!
Daz: [describing Baz's possible death] Geez, that's a bad way to go!

An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for 2 months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says
"who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Mercedes stops in front of their house,
a mature and distinguishedman with gray hair and impeccably dressed
in an Armani suit steps out of the Mercedes and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father,mother and the girl, and tells them:
Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation.
I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. "
"Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each."
"However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,
"You can *****her again."

Schizophrenia can be help

The time is when Fridays were fish days.
A Protestant minister moved into a Roman Catholics community.
Every Friday he could be seen cooking steaks etc
.Finally the people approached him and asked him to change to the Catholic Faith
.He agreed to do this and after a while the Bishop anointed him with Holy water,
sprinkling him three times and saying
" In the name of the Father, the Son and the holy Ghost you are now a Catholic."
The next Friday the man was outside Barbecuing a roast of beef .
The people protested to him, so he got some water, blessed it,
and sprinkled it on the meat saying
" In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost you are now fish"


Q: What did Big Ben say to the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
A: "I've got the time, if you've got the inclination."

Bumper Sticker

I went to my first Muslim birthday party today!
Musical chairs was a bit slow...
but bloody hell, pass the parcel was fast!
Ok..., so its not politically correct
Today we have two Video dedications
Way out in the wheatbelt, up Quairading way live, Ian and Margaret Hall
Ian is a fan of late 60's early 70's stuff and in particular CCR
Hope you enjoy it, Ian
Credence Clearwater Revival.........Down on the Corner
On the other side of Aussie in the East, there is no bigger Roy Orbison fan
than my good mate.....Ray Stewart
For Ray, is this not so well known Big O song
Roy Orbison.........Evergreen

Don't try this on your local train

St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates checking up on the people waiting to enter Heaven,
and asks the next one in line
'So, who are you, and what did you do on Earth?'
The fellow says 'I'm Barack Obama,
and I was the first black to be elected President of the United States.'
St. Peter says 'The U.S.? A black President?
You gotta be kiddin' me!
When did this happen?!?'
And Obama says 'About twenty seconds ago.'

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Phil-- We've never met, but I must be pretty damn transparent for you to peg my sense of humor so quickly. Love the Baz clip. --Bunk