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On the way to Vancouver Island

Thanks Ron H
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The Hollies
Tracy Marie will like this one


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UNITED STATES OF IRAN
Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad calls PresidentObama and tells him,
"Barack, I had a wonderful dreamlast night.
I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner."
"What did it say on the banners?" Obama asks.
Mahmud replies, "UNITED STATES OF IRAN."
Obama says, "You know, Mahmud, I am really happy you called,
because believe it or not, last night I had a similar dream.
I could see all of Tehran, and it was more beautiful than ever,
and on each house flew an enormous banner."
"What did it say on the banners?" Mahmud asks.
Obama replies,
"I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

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Drinking

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.

Coincidence? I think not."
When we drink,

we get drunk.

When we get drunk,

We fall asleep.

When we fall asleep,

we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin,

we go to heaven.

So, let's all Get drunk and go to heaven!"
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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We want more pay and better conditions

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The following cartoons were sent to me by David T [Thanks]

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There were two good ol' boys from the South, who love to fish,

and they wanted to do some ice fishing.

They'd heard about it up in Canada, so they took off up there.

The lake was frozen nicely.

They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle.

One of them said, "We're gonna need an ice pick."

So they got that, and they took off.

In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said,

"We're gonna need another dozen ice picks."

Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't.

He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.

In about an hour, he was back. and said,

"We're gonna need all the ice picks you've got."

The bait man couldn't stand it any longer.

"By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"

"Not very well at all," he said.

"We ain't even got the boat in the water yet."

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These three dudes break out of prison.

One is white, one is black, and one Mexican.

They are going through the woods trying to get away,

while hearing the guard dogs getting closer.

They ran until they reach the end of the woods to find a swamp loaded with alligators.

The white man says, "I've got to try to swim across! If I don't, the dogs will eat me!"

So he jumps in and swims about fifty feet before the alligators attack and devour him.

The black guy is standing there looking at the swamp,

but the dogs are getting closer, so he says,

"I'm bigger and stronger than that white dude. I think I can out-swim those alligators!"

So he jumps in and swims about one hundred yards before the alligators attack

and devour him.

The Mexican is standing there, afraid to jump in,

when the dogs run out of the woods barking.

He jumps in figuring that he would die anyway if he didn't.

Miraculously, he makes it across the swamp untouched by the gators,

and makes it to freedom

.A little alligator says to a big alligator,

"Why did we eat the first two guys, but let the Mexican go?"

The big alligator says,

"The last time that I ate a Mexican, my butthole burned for three days!"
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Out in the open farming country, there lived a farmer with a hobby.

He collected tractors.

He had big ones and small ones, red ones and green ones, and everything in between.

And of course, all this machinery took a lot of space,

so he had a number of specially constructed buildings.
But slowly, over the years, he got bored of his collection,

until one day he decided to get rid of the whole lot, and he set fire to them.
A neighbouring farmer visited him,

and found him standing at the entrance to one of the barns,

sucking the smoke out of the building to keep the fire burning.
“What’s going on?” asked the visitor.
“Well,” he said,

“I used to love these machines,

but now I’ve become an ex-tractor fan.”

stolen from Archies Archive
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The following video's are no way meant to offend anyone

and posted here in the name of Phun,

because they are very well done and funny.

Long time readers may remember the first one as I posted it some time back

It was taken at an Aboriginal community in Arnhem Land a couple of years ago
Zobra the Greek

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Gotta love this bloke . Its very short but very hilarious and very clever

Meekatharra is a town in Central Western Australia with many indigenious residents

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The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage,

and passed them on to her daughter.

"Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised.

"Youshould always wear something."

"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.

Two weeks after the wedding,

the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked,

"Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?"

"Not that I know of," she answered.

"Why?"

"Well, we've been married for two weeks now

and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed."

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Phils Philosophy

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PONDERISMS
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.