273





Bobby Vinton [2002]

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Land ho!
A panicked passenger in the Titanic:
Passenger: Captain, How far is the way to the nearest land?
Captain: Two and a half Miles.
Passenger: In which direction?
Captain: Towards bottom!

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Prison

To morrow

thanks Liz Z

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During a difficult time, I saw a billboard sign that said:
NEED HELP, CALL JESUS 1-800-005-3787

Out of curiosity, I did.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
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O Canada

695...tree.... tree...... tree......tree

It's time to reflect on what a truly Canadian winter is all about
WINTER POEM
It's winter in Canada
And the gentle breezes blow

Seventy miles an hour

At thirty-five below.

Oh, how I love Canada

When the snow's up to your butt

You take a breath of winter

And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful

So I guess I'll hang around

I could never leave Canada

I'm frozen to the friggin' ground!

thanks Don H

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Just cause its so hard for us to get together for a coffee....

have one on me....
This is cute.

I don't know how they figure all this stuff out.

Enjoy
1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON OPEN ENJOY!
to start click COFFEE MACHINE

thanks Liz Z


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BEARS

What do you call a collection of Panda Bears??

Hope thats not a Bud Light!!

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Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings


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"A man has to leave the country on business

and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife.

He instructed if anything out of the ordinary should occur,

he was to be notified immediately.

After about a week of no news the businessman received a telegram:

'The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday...'"

stolen from......Slavenka and Obi

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OOPS!!!!!

Somehow Pregnant
A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor.

“Young lady,” said the doctor, “you’re pregnant.”
“But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists

and in our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.”
“Well my dear,” said the doctor,

“someone in that colony is cockeyed.”

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Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends,

"My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps,

"My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says,

"My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says,

"My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence,

the four men give her a subtle,

"Well....?"
She proudly replies,

"I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist and 34" hips.

When she walks into a room, people say,

"Oh My God."

--------------------------------------------
See you later Alligator


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NO FOOLING THE NAVY

The old sea captain was dining in a Portsmouth restaurant.

"Waiter, what's this?" he asked, after being presented with a bowl of thin soup

."It's consomme, sir," replied the waiter.

"Shiver me timbers," said the sea- dog.

"For forty years I've been sailing on consomme, and never knew it

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stolen from.... amyoops

PHILS PHILOSOPHY

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