407

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Our very own

thanks Gordon H

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Grandma Levy, always a regular synagogue member,

had finally talked her cousin, a woman who had lived a riotous, free life,

into joining the Temple.

"Tell me Rabbi," the old lady asked when she managed

to get the man aside for a minute,

"Do you feel that my cousin will have her sins forgiven after all these years?"

"Yes I do. I'm positive of it," the Rabbi replied.

"You must remember that the greater the number of sins, the greater the glory."

"Really?" the old lady replied.

She paused a moment and then said,

"I sure do wish I'd known that fifty years ago!"

thanks Toni

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one of those days

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A bloke is sitting with his wife on the back porch,

beer in hand,

after a long days BBQ.

He says “I love you”

She says “Is that you, or the beer talking”

He says “It’s me………………….

talking to the beer”

thanks Liz and Alan

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Some April Fools Days funnies

thanks Toni

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A blonde at a party, was telling her friend that she'd gone off men for life.

"They lie, they cheat, and they're just no good," she moaned.

Then she added, "From now on when I want sex,

I'm going to use my tried and tested plastic companion."

"What happens when the batteries run out?" joked her friend.

"That's simple," replied the blonde.

"I'll just fake an orgasm as usual

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Those funny animals

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Can your truck do this??

EMBED-Monster Truck Performs Backflip - Watch more free videos

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It appears the Royal Brits have had to produce a calendar

to finance the upcoming wedding

Here are some of thecalendar months fit for publication on this blog

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An older couple are playing in the annual club championship.

They are playing in a playoff hole and it is down to a 6-inch putt

that the wife has to make.

She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling.

She putts and misses; they lose the match

.On the way home in the car her husband is fuming,

"I cannot believe you missed that putt!

That putt was no longer than my dick."

The wife just looked over at her husband,

smiled and said,

"Yes dear, but it was much harder!"

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from the Cannes Film Festival

thanks Kitty L

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stolen from Skips House of Chaos

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A man's Computer room

where's the fridge??

thanks Liz Z

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thanks Duke

- Helping my friends to understand engineering . . .

Engineer Husband A wife says to her engineer husband,

"Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk.

And if they have eggs, get a dozen ."

A short time later the husband comes back with twelve cartons of milk.

The wife asks,

"Why the heck did you buy twelve cartons of milk?"

"They had eggs."

-- thanks Gordon H

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MORE FAILS

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thanks David B

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A man sitting in a movie theater notices that there

is a big ole grizzly bear sitting next to him.

Finally heturns to the bear and says

"Pardon me for asking, but aren't you a bear?"

The bear nods; then the man says,

"So... tell me, what are you doing at the movies?"

The bear replies. .

"Well, I liked the book."

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"PHILS PHILOSOPHY"

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ENJOY!!!!

thanks Liz Z