477

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Imagine

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thanks David T

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thanks Liz Z and Duke

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Top Sports Video

classic footage

thanks Kitty L

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Enjoy......... Alberta Canada

best viewed  .. full screen

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A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine.

The doctor asks him about his sex life.

"Well..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest.

The wife ain't all that interested anymore,

 so I just cruise around.

 In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three girls,

 none of whom were over thirty years old."

"My goodness Frank, and at your age too," the doctor said.

 "I hope you took at least some precautions."

"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet, doc.

 I gave 'em all a phony name."

thanks Toni S

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Hyundai

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Those Funny Animals



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thanks Toni S

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My boss phoned me today.

He said, "Is everything okay at the office?"

I said, "Yes, it's all under control.It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked.

I said, "Of course, what is it?"

He said, "Hurry up and take your shot,

I'm in the foursome behind you."

Odd places to live

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These dancers walk so fast without making sounds on the dance floor

 or tripping over their dresses?

 Wow simply amazing!

Berezka means a birch tree in Russian.

The ensemble was founded in 1948

 and since then they have become a symbol of Russia.

 Each concert starts with a circle dance in which the dancers

seem to be standing still while the stage under their steps seems to be moving.

 Upon joining the ensemble,

 dancers are told to keep the famous ‘floating step’ technique a secret.

 The secret of this step is kept secret.

The ensemble is formed by choreographer Nadezhda Nadezhdina

 who once explained that the core of any dance

 is the poetic image of a young maiden.

“The mystery lies not in the step but in the emotional state!”

best viewed  full screen

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A traveling salesman was driving through the marshy Louisiana countryside one night

when he missed a turn and found himself in a ditch.

There was nothing around but he saw a light at the end of a boardwalk

so that’s where he went.

The door was answered by a man

 who said that there was not much they could do at night

 but the salesman could stay at the house

 and they would get the car out of the ditch in the morning.

The next morning the salesman awoke to see his host going out the door with a shotgun.

He asked where the guy was going and was told.

”Gonna get a rabbit for breakfast.

 On the morning after you need some of the hare of the bog that ditched you

stolen from Archies Archives

 

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Slip of the tongue

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Anklebiters [Kids]

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Strong Vaccum

this video has been sent to me by a number of people

thank you all

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A Sad (But Touching) Story

I was rushing around trying to get the last-minute bargains before they were gone.

 I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then.

It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot

 as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy.

 Then I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later.

 So mumbling (very UN-Christmas like things) under my breath,

I retraced my steps to the mall entrance.

As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt,

 I heard a quiet sobbing.

The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about nine years old.

He was short and thin.

He had no coat.

He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill.

 Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand!

Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents,

 I asked him what was wrong.

 He told me his sad story.

He said that he came from a large family.

He had three brothers and four sisters.

 His father had died when he was six years old.

His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs

. She made very little to support her large family.

Nevertheless, she had managed to skimp and save two hundred dollars

 to buy her children Christmas presents.

The young boy had been dropped off by his mother,

 on the way to her second job.

He was to use the money to buy presents for all his siblings

 and save just enough to take the bus home.

 He had not even entered the mall,

 when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills

 and disappeared into the night.

"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked.

The boy said, "I did."

"And nobody came to help you?" I wondered.

The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head.

"How loudly did you scream?" I inquired.

The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"

I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help

. So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.

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Who said Kids have all the fun???

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Jewish Commercial

thanks Toni S

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Can you read it??

Suzie meets up with Sandi as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.

Suzie asks, "Everything ok with your car now?"

"Yes, thank goodness" Sandi replies.

"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"

"Yeah I was, but he didn't. I was SO relieved

 when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid."

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Vintage Charlie Chaplin

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Phils Philosophy

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The Tremeloes



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2011

thanks Kitty L

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Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.