542

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Zobra the greek 

 on

Britain's got Talent

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Fascinating rare pictures

thanks Kitty L

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Was searching for something on You Tube

and discovered this

Enjoy

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Those Funny Animals

Friendly Wombat

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Mean while..........

Aussie stock man and his wife had just got married 

and found a quiet hotel

for their wedding night. 

The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.

He said, 'We're on our honeymoon

 and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed."

The clerk winked,

 'You want the 'Bridal'?'

The drover reflected on this for a moment and then replied,

  

"Nah, I reckon not. 

  I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it."

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Hitler and Perth

very true and very funny

warning ..contains some coarse language

thanks Gordon H

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Swing Dancing

This video is a few years old

But well worth watching

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 The days were starting to get really frigid,

 so I decided it was time for a new winter coat.

 Looking through the racks at the big department store,

 I was surprised they were all so expensive.

 I couldn't remembered when a coat had cost so much.

 I selected one and brought it to the cashier.

 "Coats are really expensive this year!" I commented.

 "That's right," the clerk replied. "

The manufacturing costs have gone up, the trucking costs have gone up,

 everything has gone up,

 even the goose feathers!"

 "Goose feathers?" I asked.

 "That's right," the clerk replied.

 "Even down is up!"

A TV weatherman with excellent  training and sparkling credentials

 ran into a terrible unlucky streak?

 He became something of a local joke. 

The town's newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions. 

A year later, the paper reported that he'd been wrong 

almost three hundred times in a single year. 

Unable to handle the pressure, 

the station manager fired him. 

So the meteorologist moved far away 

and applied for another job as a TV weathermen. 

When he got to the question on the application 

about why he had left his last job, he wrote,

 "The climate didn't agree with me."

A farmer's son married the neighboring farmer's daughter.

 At the ceremony, instead of lighting a unity candle

, they each poured a little cream from their respective dairies 

into the same bowl. 

They were cream-mated.

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Seniors do Michael Jackson

  My parents had not been out together in quite some time. 

 One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes,

 my father stepped up behind her.  

"Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.

     Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, 

"Oh, yes, I'd love to!"

     They had a wonderful evening, 

and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. 

 His question had actually been directed to the family dog,

lying near  Mom's feet on the kitchen floor. 

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A PRE-SCHOOL TEST FOR YOU

Which way is the bus below travelling?

To the Left or to the Right?

 thanks Shelagh N

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Super Cool Golf Cart

Thanks Ray S

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POSTERS

A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman

 to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road.

 He was skeptical about hiring her, 

but she appeared enthusiastic 

and told him that she really needed the job. 

He explained to her that her work day

 would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road,

 and he set her up with her brushes 

and paint and got her started.

After the first day,

 he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job 

and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift.

 He told her that she did an excellent job 

and how pleased he was with her progress.

On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road.

 Her supervisor was surprised that on day one

 she had completed twice as much work, 

but did not say anything, 

as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway.

 He decided to just accept it,

 and to look forward to the next day when he was sure 

she would pick up her speed again.

On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, 

she only completed painting 1 mile of road. 

He called her into his office

 and asked her what was the problem,

 "On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, 

on your second day, 2 miles of road, 

and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road.

 Can I ask you, what is the problem?"

"Well, she replied,

 I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can."

Granny and her grandson were shopping 

when she saw he had a toy that he shouldn't have. 

She yelled at him, 

"Hey Degree, put that back!" 

Another woman shopping said to her, 

"Degree, is that his real name?" 

Granny said,

 "Yes. I sent my daughter to the university 

and this is what she came home with."

Thanks Kitty L

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Jewish Joke

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WOMEN

A husband and wife were watching a documentary 

about Alzheimer's one evening. 

 About halfway through the program, 

the wife turns to her husband and says,

 "What a horrible condition,

 if I ever get Alzheimer's ,

 I think I'll just shoot myself".

"I know" he replied, 

"You said that 5 minutes ago".

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This weeks Signs

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PHILS PHILOSOPHY

Disclaimer

All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and videos on this site

are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.