549
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All the way from Canada,
this
adorable 5-year-old is as cute as he is talented
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Rare Photographs
Only known authenticated photo of Billy
the Kid, ca. 1879
thanks Liz Z
##############
The
Louisiana State Police had received numerous reports
of illegal cockfights
being held in the area around Abbeville
and had sent their famous Detective
Boudreaux
from Thibodeaux to investigate.
Boudreaux promptly began his investigation
and then reported to his Commander
the next morning.
"Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin", he
began.
"Good work! Who are they?" the Commander asked.
Boudreaux replied confidently,
"De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns, and de
Mafia from N'awlins".
Puzzled, the Commander asked,
"Now Boudreaux, how did you find all that
out in one night?"
"Well," he replied,
"I went down and done seen dat rooster fight
in person.
And I knowed immedjiately dat dem Aggies
was involved when a
Duck was entered in the fight."
The Commander nodded,
"I'll buy that. But what about the
others?"
Boudreaux nodded knowingly,
"Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when
sum body bet on de duck!"
"Ah, I see, I see....." sighed the Commander
"And how did you
figure the Mafia was involved?"
"De duck won
thanks Kitty L
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Those Funny Animals
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I don’t speak Yiddish but apparently
“Bei
Mir Bistu Shein” translates as “To Me You’re Beautiful”.
The song was originally written for a Yiddish musical in the 1930′s
then later translated into English lyrics and a more swing like rhythm.
##########
The New 7
Wonders Of The World
Here’s
a great little science quiz.
Not to brag, but I got 80%
Compare
how you do…
See what you know in science . . . it’s a quickie.
Thirteen multiple choice, general science questions prepared by Pew
Research.
Only you will know how well you’ve done.
Good luck.
how smart are you?
|
#############
A man is heading
into Best Buy
when he sees a dwarf little person
walking out carrying a
flat screen television.
He says to him,
"Are you going to be okay
carrying that TV by yourself?"
And thedwarf little person says,
And the
"Up yours! It's an iPad!"
###########
Why be smart and stressed
Take a pill
POSTERS
############
Who's your favourite
################
.jpg)
In an ancient kingdom named Kale,
a king was very proud of his
agricultural pursuits.
He was particularly proud of his huge expanse of
vegetables and herbs,
which he grew to feed his people and provide income for
his kingdom.
Equally proud of this field of vegetables and herbs
was the king's
young son.
He often went out to the fields and helped with the planting and
harvesting.
So taken with these vast fields of herbs was the young man,
that he
often simply went out and stared at the crops
of sage, rosemary, parsley, dill,
pesto, and thyme.
Obviously, the young heir to the throne knew that all he surveyed
would one day be his,
and he made a habit of standing in awe at the vast
expanses of herbs and spice plants.
One day, the queen was looking for her young son,
and she asked
the king where their son was.
The king, himself just having returned from the fields
, was able
to answer quickly:
"I have left my food prince in the stand of
thyme."
Some time ago a junior clerk in the City Council office
created a major
problem.
He double booked the city Convention Centre.
Booking both a computer trade show and
a Shakespeare appreciation society
performance for the same day.
The Mayor had to be involved in settling the dispute.
After hearing talks from both parties,
the Mayor and the town’s
entertainment committee had discussions
which went long into the night.
Eventually a decision was reached.
The Council decided to let the Shakespeare appreciation society
use the
Convention Centre for their performance.
It just goes to show that actors speak louder than nerds!
###############
The Italian says, "I'm tired and
thirsty. I must have wine."
The Frenchman says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have
cognac."
The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have
vodka."
The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have
beer."
The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have
tequila."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have
diabetes."
##############
for the Golf Nuts
##############
The English Language
Q: Why do
men’s clothes have buttons on the right while women’s clothes have buttons on
the left?
A: When buttons were invented,
they were very expensive and worn primarily by
the rich.
Since most people are right-handed
it is easier to push buttons on
the right through holes on the left.
Because wealthy women were dressed by
maids,
dressmakers put the buttons on the maid’s right!
And that’s where
women’s buttons have remained since.
Q: Why do ships and aircraft use “mayday” as their call for help?
A: This comes from the French word m’aidez- meaning “help me”
– and is
pronounced, approximately, “mayday.”
Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called “love”?
A: In France, where tennis became popular,
round zero on the scoreboard looked
like an egg
and was called ” l’oeuf, ” which is French for “egg.”
When tennis
was introduced in the US, Americans (mis)pronounced it ‘love.’
Q. Why do X’s at the end of a letter signify kisses?
A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write,
documents
were often signed using an X.
Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill
obligations specified in the document.
The X and the kiss eventually became
synonymous.
Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called ” passing the buck ” ?
A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item,
called a buck, from
player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal.
If a player did not
wish to assume the responsibility of dealing,
he would ‘pass the buck’ to the
next player.
Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?
A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy
by offering him a poisoned
drink.
To prove to a guest that a drink was safe
, it became customary for a
guest to pour a small amount
of his drink into the glass of the host.
Both men
would drink it simultaneously.
When a guest trusted his host,
he would only
touch or clink the host’s glass with his own.
Q: Why is
someone who is feeling great “on cloud nine”?
A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain,
with
nine being the highest cloud.
If someone is said to be on cloud nine,
that
person is floating well above worldly cares.
Q: In golf, where did the term “Caddie” come from?
A. When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl,
Louis, King of
France, learned that she loved the Scots game ” golf. ”
So he had the first
course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment.
To make sure she was
properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played,
Louis hired cadets from a
military school to accompany her.
Mary liked this lot and when returned to
Scotland
(not a very good idea in the long run),
she took the practice with
her.
In French, the word cadet is pronounced ” ca-day “-
and the Scots changed
it into ” caddie. “
.
Q: Why
are many coin banks shaped like pigs?
A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe
were made of dense orange clay
called ” pygg. ”
When people saved coins in jars made of this clay,
the jars
became known as ” pygg banks.
” When an English potter misunderstood the word,
he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.
So there! Now you know!
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Chocolate Fun
###############
Modern World
THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK
Harvey's grandfather clock suddenly stopped working one day,
so he
loaded it into his van and took it to a clock repair shop.
In the shop was a
little old man who insisted he was Swiss
but had a heavy German accent.
He asked Harvey, “Vat sims to be ze problem?”
Harvey said, “I'm not sure, but it doesn't go ‘tick-tock,
tick-tock’ any-more.
Now it just goes ‘tick...tick...tick.’ ”
The old man said, “Mmm-hmm!”
and stepped behind the counter where
he rummaged around a bit.
He emerged with a huge flashlight
and walked over to
the grandfather clock.
He turned the flashlight on,
and shined it directly into the
clock’s face.
Then he said in a menacing voice,
“Ve haf vays of making you
tock!”
##############
Flags have been used since before we began recording history,
to
symbolize movements, peoples and even individuals.
Every country in the world
has a flag –
some weird, some beautiful and some incredibly boring
(Libya’s
flag for instance – plain green and nothing else).
This list looks at ten
flags,
or types of flags, that are unique in one or another aspect from other
flags.
#################
Banned Commercial **WARNING: Not for
the sensitive
##############
This weeks Signs
##############
PHILS PHILOSOPHY
Disclaimer
All posts, jokes, stories, cartoons, photos and
videos on this site
are understood to be in the public domain.
If you hold the copyright to any of them and would
like me to remove them,
please contact Phil at
philco@iinet.net.au.
1 comment:
Good ones today Phil. I ripped off a couple of cat ones that will work for Feline Friday.
Have a fabulous day. :)
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