Phils Phun

572

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This past week was Armistice Day and Veterans Day

This in fitting post

Melissa Venema (17) plays live Il Silenzio at Carré Amsterdam

with the Metropole orchestra on March 31 2013.

when she was 17 years old

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Pictures to make you smile

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Christmas stories are always wonderful

and The Bear and The Hare from upmarket department store

John Lewis doesn’t disappoint.

The Hare is sad that his best friend

The Bear never gets to experience Christmas

because Bear gets sleepy and hibernates during Christmas.

Hare finds a way to make Christmas special

for Bear in this wonderful animated advert from John Lewis.

Come on a trip around the World

Aerial view of Central Park New York

thanks Ray S and Liz Z

Some vintage black and white images of early Australia

thanks Danny C

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Those Funny Animals

This made me Smile

Talk to your Pets

Dogs Acting like Humans

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Can you find me??

Giraffe

Leopard

Squirrel

Spotted Deer

Impala

Common Snipe

Blue Dacnis

Wolf

Caiman

thanks Kitty L

There were these two professors arguing

over which one had the dumber child.

Each professor thought his was the bigger idiot.

The first professor yells,

"There is no way that your son is dumber.

My son has to be THE stupidest kid on Earth."

The second professor says

"No way, José. My son is the bigger idiot."

The first professor says

"Let me prove it to you.

Hey Jake! (Jake runs to his father)

I don't know if I left myself at the office or not.

Would you run there and find out.

If I'm there then tell me to come home and eat dinner."

The son says, gleefully, "Sure dad"

and runs off.

The second professor, not to be outdone says,

"Oh Yea! Watch this! Hey Sam! Come here!

(Sam runs to his father)

Here are two pennies.

With one penny buy a car

and the other buy a microwave."

Sam says "OK" and leaves.

The professors keep arguing.

Jay and Sam meet in the street.

And they start arguing which one has the dumber father.

Jay says, "Well listen.

My father told me to find out if he is at the office or not.

Well all he had to do was to call the office

and find out himself.

Two minutes and he would be done.

That is ‘stupid’ if I've ever heard it."

Sam says "Well that is nothing.

My dad told me to buy a car with one penny

and a microwave with the other.

But he didn't tell me which penny

was for the car and which one is for the microwave."

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The Epic Volvo Truck Split performed

by Jean-Claude Van Damme is simply awesome!

In case you think you’re seeing things the Volvo Trucks

are going backwards and Jean-Claude

is standing on the side mirrors.

This Epic Volvo Truck Split was performed

in one take on a closed airfield in Spain

and demonstrates the precision

and directional stability of Volvo Dynamic Steering.

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Meanwhile!!!!!

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and you could be in Texas if???

thanks Liz Z

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This Video could be

"Only in Florida"

"How not to Instagram"

"Choose your bag"

"Revenge"

You decide

Not many people know it, but the Devil actually wears a wig.

You'd never know if you weren't told.

It’s a perfect fit.

Anyway, down in the world of fire and brimstone

, one guy did find out and he decided to have a little practical joke.

So one night, he sneaks past the guardian demons

and manages to get all the way into Satan's bed chamber

, whereupon he steals the hair-piece

and makes good his escape.

Well, of course, the Devil was most displeased

by this and he rounds up his demons

and demands to know which of them had been so lazy

as to let someone sneak past them.

Naturally, none of them owns up,

which makes him even madder:

So he calls a general meeting of everyone

the under-world: everyone has to attend.

The meeting is held in a huge cavern

and it's absolutely packed

(except for the odd gap in the crowd,

where there's a lava-pit or bottomless fissure in the flo

. The devil bel-lows at them to be quiet,

and a deadly hush falls.

“Whoever stole it,” he shouts,

“had better return it immediately!”

And here he paused for effect…

”Or else there'll be Hell Toupee!”

When you get a transfusion in a Taiwanese hospital,
you receive Taipei blood.

Vampires are always looking for their necks victim.

A no-fly zone prohibits zippers.

I need to cut my fingernails before they get too out of hand.

The headlines nobody likes are wrinkles.

Time wounds all heels.

Mooning is lunacy.

Make no bones about it but the ulna has a humerus side to it.

Masks have no face value!

This old shoe is on its last leg.

A group of acrobats from Pamplona

in the Navarre province in northern Spain

were invited to the United States.

They had never even been to Madrid,

let alone a big city like New York before,

and were naturally quite excited by it.

The producer, who had discovered them while

vacationing in the Spanish countryside,

wanted the acrobats to enjoy all New York had to offer,

so he made certain that they missed nothing.

They stayed at a fine midtown hotel, ate at the best restaurants,

visited the museums and the Statue of Liberty.

But the acrobats' favorite things in New York

were not these passive sight-seeing pleasures.

They preferred the action of the rickety wooden roller coaster

at Coney Island which provided thrills they only dreamed existed.

The subway ride back to midtown

(because of course they eschewed the limo provided by our producer)

was even more exhilarating

. But the biggest thrill of all came that evening

when they were taken to a restaurant

which was entered through a revolving door.

This was more exciting than either the roller coaster

or the subway, and they all crowded in

and twirled around and around.

Faster, and faster the revolving door spun-until there

was a giant pileup and, alas!

they were all crushed to death.

The moral of all this is:

You should never put all your Basques in one exit.

Phunny Phacts

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Eternal Peace

thanks Kitty L

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POSTERS

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Men and Women

Engrossed in a crossword puzzle a boy turns

to his father and asks,

"Could you help me,

I need to have the last word."

"Better ask your mother,"

grumbles the father.

"That is her department."

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As an animal lover I thought you might want to pick up

some additional knowledge.

CROW KILLS

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority

found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently,

and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A BirdPathologist examined the remains of all the crows,

and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted

that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined

that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks,

while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist

to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages

of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause:

When crows eat road kill,

they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree

to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout

"Cah", not a single one could shout

"Truck."

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