576

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Blue Xmas

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French Canadian teen David Thibault, 16, 

covers Elvis Presley's classic 'Blue Christmas' with perfection

 and does a better job than any Elvis impersonator than I've seen before

the video is somewhat spoilt by annoying interupting DJ

Xmas Toons

Claire Koch Signs Christmas Carol For Her Deaf Parents During School Pageant

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West Jet Canada special Xmas

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Pictures that speak a thousand words

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Those Funny Animals

 Awesome Dog food commercial

thanks Kitty L

This fundamentalist Christian couple 

felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. 

They went shopping at a kennel specializing

 in this particular breed, 

and found a dog they liked quite a lot. 

When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, 

he did it in a flash. 

When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23,

 he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity.

 They were impressed,

 purchased the animal, 

and went home (piously, of course).

That night they had friends over for dinner. 

They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog 

and his major skills, they had the dog show off a little. 

The friends were impressed, 

and asked whether the dog was able

 to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well.

 This stopped the couple cold, 

as they hadn't thought about 'normal' tricks.

"Well," they said, "let's try this out." 

Once more they called out to the dog, 

and then clearly pronounced the command,

 "Heel!"

 Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up,

 put his paw on the man's forehead,

 closed his eyes in concentration,

 and bowed his head...

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Cool Facts

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In case you're having a rough day,

 here's a stress management technique recommended

 in all the latest psychological journals.   

The funny thing is that it really works

 and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock

 that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands

 dangling in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place

 called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air 

with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so clear that you can make out the face 

of the Politician you are holding underwater

See it worked! You're smiling.

You feel better already!

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Fun Piano at Chicago Union Station

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POSTERS

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Ulimate Workers FAIL  Complimation

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STRANGE DEATHS

If you were a child in the 90s, you'll have seen Anastasia,

 so you know who Rasputin was. 

What you might not know is that this guy was 

just as hard to kill in real life as he was in the movie.

 Now, since the eyewitness accounts vary, 

we can never be absolutely certain as to what happened,

 but the commonly accepted story is this: 

worried about Rasputin's influence over Tsarina Alexandra, 

members of the extended Romanov family 

potted to off him using cyanide. 

However, after consuming the pastries and wine containing the poison

 (supposedly enough to kill five men),

 Rasputin was still kicking. 

So they shot him and left him for dead in the living room

. But when they came back in to check on him,

 he was STILL alive. 

So they shot him again (either two or three more times). 

And bludgeoned him with a rubber clubbed.

 And bound him and wrapped him in a sheet 

and dumped him in the river.

 And when his body was pulled from the river two days later, 

it revealed that he had somehow managed to free one of his arms.

King Adolf Frederick of Sweden's last meal consisted of lobster,

 caviar, sauerkraut, kippers, and champagne, 

plus 14 servings of his favorite dessert, semla

 (buns in a bowl of warm milk.)

 We mention this because it was his last meal that killed him. 

He is known in Sweden as

 "the king who ate himself to death."

The case went something like this:

 Ohio, 1871.

 A man was shot and killed in a bar fight. 

The defendant's attorney, Clement Vallandigham,

 argued that the victim had actually killed himself 

while trying to draw his pistol from his pocket

 while in a kneeling position. 

To prove the plausibility, he demonstrated this act to the jury, 

grabbing a gun he believed to be unloaded.

 He killed himself in the process,

 and in doing so, proved his own point.

 The defendant, Thomas McGehan,

 was acquitted.

In 1998, a football (read: soccer) match between two provinces

 in the Congo was interrupted by a lightning bolt 

that struck the pitch and killed all 11 members of one team.

 (Go ahead and reread that sentence

just to make sure you got it before moving on. .)

 The other teamed was left unscathed,

 though did suffer severe accusations of witchcraft

(which is apparently a legit concern in central Africa.)

In 1994, one Gloria Ramirez was admitted to Riverside General Hospital

 due to the effects of advanced cervical cancer,

 but she wasn't the only one who would need medical attention;

 her skin was toxic.

 Staff noticed an oily sheen on Ramirez's skin and 

a "fruity, garlic-like odor" coming from her mouth.

 The nurse who drew blood from Ramirez's arm, 

noticed an "ammonia-like smell" coming from the tube.

 The nurse handed the bloody sample to a doctor

 who noticed particles in the blood.

 Then the nurse fainted.

 Then the doctor felt nauseated and light-headed, so she left the room.

 And then fainted at a nurse's desk.

 A respiratory therapist who assisted in the ER also passed out.

 At that point, staff was ordered to evacuate all the ER patients.

 Despite efforts, 

Ramirez was pronounced dead from kidney failure.

So what was up with the infected staff?

 Well, here's the theory:

 Ramirez may have been using dimethyl sulfoxide (DMSO),

 a solvent, for pain.

 The substance has a reported garlic-like taste.

 Scientists hypothesize that the oxygen administered

 my EMTs may have combined with the DMSO to create DMSO2,

 which is known to crystallize at room temperature,

 which may explain the particles the doctor spotted in the patient's blood.

 Then, the electric shock from the defibrillator

 used in the ER may have convered the DMSO2 into DMSO4,

 a poisonous gas. 

In February 1959, 10 ski hikers set out to climb Russia's

 mountain Kholat Syakhl (which ironically means "Mountain of the Dead." 

One was forced to turn back a day in due to illness. 

The other nine were never seen alive again.

Now, alright, you're probably thinking 

"People dying while climbing a mountain in Russia in the middle of winter?

 How is that strange?" 

 when investigators found the mountaineers' camp site,

 it was in shambles, and the tent had been torn open FROM THE INSIDE.

 Footprints leading away from the site were left by people 

who were barefoot, wearing socks, or wearing only one shoe.

 The first two bodies found were beneath a large tree 

about a mile from the camp, dressed only in underwear.

 Three more bodies were discovered at varying distance

 between the tree and the camp,

 and appeared to have died while attempting to return to the camp.

 One had a fractured skull.

It took two months before the other four bodies were found

 in a ravine a few hundred feet from the tree 

where the first two bodies were found. 

They were wrapped in pieces of clothing belonging 

to other members of the group,

 leading investigators to believe these four had died last 

and had removed clothing from those previously deceased. 

and this clothing? It was RADIOACTIVE. 

Though these four bodies showed no outwards signs of trauma

 (meaning no bruises or scratches or horrific festering wounds)

 they all died of trauma, most notably major chest fractures. 

Doctors said that the force required to cause such fractures

 would be comparable to the force of a car crash. 

Remember, no external damage.

 Oh yeah, and one woman was missing her tongue. 

The final verdict was that the group members died

 due to "compelling natural forces,"

 which sounds an awful lot like 

"we have no idea what the heck happened here."

------------------------------

Old People are awesome

If this doesn't make you laugh...nothing will

----------------------

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy - 

reaches into his pocket and takes out 

a small Irish whiskey bottle

 and a teaspoon.  

He pours from the bottle onto the teaspoon 

and offers it to the pharmacist.

 "Could you taste this for me, please?"

       The pharmacist takes the teaspoon,

 puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around 

and swallows it. 

 "Does that taste sweet to you?" 

says Paddy.

       "No, not at all," says the chemist.

     "Oh that's a relief," says Paddy.

 "The doctor told me to come here 

and get my urine tested for sugar."

------------------------------------

NEW FORD MODELS

----------------------

Try this

I averaged 78%

Short Term Memory Test .

You'll be shown 12 photos in the first part,

You'll be shown another 12 photos in the second part,

You'll be shown 48 photos in the third part 
and asked if you saw them in the first part,
 the second part - or never saw them at all.

When you have finished the third part,
 your results will be given to you.

Click here to begin.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/tmt/instructions_1.shtml

------------------------------

Men and Women

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner 

unannounced at 5:30 pm after work. 

 His wife begins screaming at him 

and his friend just sits and listens in.

"My hair and makeup are not done, 

the house is a mess, the dishes are not done

, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! 

 What the hell did you bring him home for?"

 "Because he's thinking of getting married.

----------

click here for the

Perfect Story

with a Perfect ending

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

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Pictures from around the world

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Super Cool Card Trick

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This weeks signs

This very funny

Be warned it has bad language right at the end

 but it adds to the video

----------------------

Phils Philosophy

Disclaimer

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are understood to be in the public domain.

If you hold the copyright to any of them and would like me to remove them,

please contact Phil at philco@iinet.net.au.